Without You
by Billie Verfasser
Summary: After a few months of being Darth Vader, Anakin has second thoughts about his new path. He overthrows the Emperor and attempts to restore the Republic and the Jedi Order. All seems to go smoothly, except his relationship with Padme, who did not die. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Here are just a few things to keep in mind: This story is very AU. Anakin never fought Obi-Wan on Mustafar, so he is not in Vader's suit and helmet. Padme did not die in childbirth, as is explained in this chapter. Enjoy.

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His bright red blade swung and Palpatine's head dropped to the ground. Anakin looked down at him, his mouth curled into a snarl. He extinguished his lightsaber and threw it back at the dead Sith Lord's body. His reign, after six months, was now over. Anakin was in charge. For a minute he forgot that he was standing in Palpatine's office with some of the Emperor's closest advisors present. Anakin turned around and smiled widely at them. He realized later that in that moment he must have looked quite insane, his wavy dark blonde hair sticking out messily and his lips pulled into a broad smile. They stared at him, dumbfounded. The usually emotionless Tarkin actually had his mouth hanging open. Part of the reason was that his loyal apprentice Darth Vader had just killed Palpatine, the most powerful man in the universe. Another reason for their shock was that none of them had ever seen the young face of Vader in anything but a scowl.

"Gentlemen," he said coolly. "Guess I'm in charge now." He looked at the three men who were rooted to their seats. Hot hatred for them bubbled up in his chest and he suddenly raised his hands, letting the Force flow through his body to the neck of a fat, old man. The man clutched at his throat, trying to pry the ghost fingers off. It was useless and he finally slumped over on the table. The two others yelled, springing up from their chairs.  
"Where do you think you're going?" Anakin asked, grabbing them with the Force. He pressed his fingers together slightly and the once powerful men made guttural noises, their hands at their throats. Anakin took great pleasure in doing this to Tarkin, whose eyes were bugging out. The man took pleasure in ordering hundreds of people to their deaths; wrote every atrocity off as necessary for the success of the Empire. He had also undermined Anakin on numerous occasions, once actually laughing at one of his suggestions to the Emperor.

"_Who's laughing now?"_ Anakin thought, squeezing the Force around the man's neck even tighter. His lips were flapping and his face turned white. Finally, his eyes rolled back in his head and his hands, now lifeless, flopped down to his sides. The other man had died much faster. He was a small, stout man with dumpy features. His rotund cheeks, usually rosy, were completely pale. His eyes that had been sunken in life were slightly bugged out in death, as if they were trying to breath for his lungs. Anakin had imagined this moment for months. He knew he would easily succeed and devised a plan. He even knew what he would tell the press and the other high-ranking officials in the Empire. He had anticipated nearly everything correctly, except for how he felt. He expected that he would feel elated, giddy even. These men were the reason his life was ruined, Sidious in particular. They had manipulated him into a monster and used him to carry out their sick deeds. They truly deserved to die and experience whatever hell was waiting for them. Their miserable lives would not be missed. However, Anakin felt no joy. He didn't really feel much of anything. In fact, he almost felt guilty. Four more lives ended because of him, deserving they may have been.

"_What would Padme say?" _a small voice inside his head asked. The voice had been a stranger to him of late. It was the conscience everyone possessed, always reminding Anakin of his faults. He forced the voice out countless times during his transformation to the darkside. He honestly found it comforting that he still had a conscience.

Anakin turned his attention away from the dead bodies to the large window displaying the buzzing traffic in Coruscant. His smile vanished as he noticed the ruins of the Jedi Temple.

"What have I done?" he said, sinking into a large chair. Huge emotions that he hadn't felt since he became Darth Vader washed over him. To be honest, the transition to a Sith was not difficult. No one questioned him, not even Obi-Wan or Padme. Of course, he had hurt Padme in other ways than simply turning. When he came to her to tell her he was now a Sith, she rejected it. She refused to be with him. It was her who pushed him over the edge. He Force choked her, releasing her at the last second before his action may have become lethal. She ran from him. In his anger, he destroyed everyone in the Jedi Temple willingly, sparing not even younglings. Obi-Wan ran with Padme, he could feel it. He knew they were helping each other, could even sense where they were. However, even in his rage, he never sought them out. They were the two people who meant the most to Anakin Skywalker, a person he was not able to let go of even in his darkest moments. He also knew that Padme had indeed given birth; he could feel it through their still present Force connection the night it happened. The back of his throat became tight and sore as he thought of her. He didn't blame her for running from him; he truly was a monster. Still, the thought that he may never hold his child was too much.

That was the thing that had pushed him to go back on Palpatine, to see his mistakes. He couldn't bear the thought that his child would grow up not knowing him, fearing him. His remorse for the Jedi he had killed came shortly after that. He now wanted nothing to do with being Emperor and simply wanted to restore the Republic and the Jedi. Absently, he pressed a glowing green button on the Emperor's desk.

"Sheryl, please come in. I have a message I would like sent out to the HoloNet," Anakin said coolly. The secretary came in slowly. He could sense her fear, especially after seeing the four lifeless bodies and Anakin sitting smugly behind Palpatine's desk.

"L-Lord Vader," she said. She was visibly shaking, clutching a datapad to her chest. He felt bad for instilling fear in her; an action he had become quite used to of late. However, he had bigger things to deal with than the personal comfort of his secretary.

"Please record the following message," he said pleasantly, smiling. Sheryl looked taken aback, but she pressed the record button on her datapad without saying another word.

"Emperor Palpatine has been abdicated from his rule, effective immediately. Darth Vader has taken over. Many new, exciting changes will happen as a result of this new leadership that the public will be witness to shortly," Anakin dictated, leaning back in his chair.

"Is that all?" the secretary asked quietly. He surveyed her for a minute, thinking. It wasn't really much of a notice, but he didn't want any of Palpatine's supports to catch wind that their positions would soon be useles. He shook his head slightly and the secretary turned and walked out of his office quickly, her high heels clicking rhythmically.

"Oh Sheryl," he called, thinking of something.

"Yes, sir?" she asked in a small voice.

"Please hold all of my calls and meetings. Tell anyone wondering of my whereabouts that I will be back in a day. I am going on a small trip."

"Yes sir," she said, slipping back out of his office.

He did not know the exact planet or place Obi-Wan and Padme were on, but somehow the Force was guiding him to them. He at least hoped it was the Force. He liked to think that at least that was still on his side these days. He took the controls of his starship, not really paying attention as to the direction he was going. This was the one thing in his miserable life he enjoyed. Flying had always been there for him, even when he was a child. He loved being out in the calm, coolness that space offered. If he wanted he could leave, go somewhere where no one knew of the terrible things he did. Even if he restored the Order and the Republic, he would be condemned. No one would forget the terror he had helped implement in the past months, short though they may have been. It was then he began to have second thoughts. Perhaps it was better if he stayed away from Padme and his child. If she took him back, he would only bring them shame they did not deserve. He made to turn around. He could just go back to Coruscant, restore the Republic and hopefully leave quietly without being brought to trial.

"_You would be surprised at how forgiving some people can be," _a deep voice said. He couldn't place it, but it sounded familiar. He looked around the small cabin, feeling foolish after he realized it was only in his head.

"_Anakin, you remember, don't you?" _the voice asked again. _"I was the one who led you to become a Jedi."_ Anakin nearly gasped when he placed the voice-it was Qui-Gon Jinn, the man he owed nearly everything to.

"_Do not give up just yet. You never know what might happen,"_ the voice pressed on.

"How do I know?" Anakin said aloud. Nothing answered him.

"Qui-Gon," he said, both aloud and through their still present Force connection. "I need help." Still, nothing answered. He slammed his fist down on the arm of his metal chair. He cursed as he realized he did it with his flesh hand, which was now throbbing in pain. No, Qui-Gon was right. He had nothing to lose from seeing his old friend and wife, but everything to gain. For the next two hours he sat in his chair, occasionally checking the ship's vitals. It seemed to know where it was going, and he was glad for the peace he had been robbed of as the Emperor's sought-after apprentice. The ship was approaching a sandy planet he recognized easily. Anakin grimaced. The yellow, dusty circle that was Tatooine, the place of his birth, had been nothing but unpleasant for him. He considered it a bad omen. It was the place his mother died, the place he had been born into slavery. He had honestly considered ordering troops to invade it just to wipe the awful planet off the galactic map. The ship, acting of it's own accord, set down a few yards away from a cluster of sand colored domed houses. Each was slightly buried in sand with doors he knew led to a staircase leading down into the main house. For some reason this nondescript village looked familiar to him. He looked around for any distinguishing marks. His heart sank when he noticed one particular landmark. A gray gravestone stuck out, both in color and literally, from the light yellow sand. It was harsh looking, a square, dark spot in the otherwise perfectly patterned sand. He made to walk towards his mother's final resting place, but realized that the two suns were still out. He didn't want to be spotted, especially by his stepbrother Owen. It occurred to him then that he wasn't sure which house Obi-Wan and Padme lived in. Surveying the town, he realized that each little dome was identical. He no longer felt the Force guiding him.

"_Great, now what?"_ he thought, hoping that Qui-Gon would again answer him. No verbal response was offered, but Anakin jumped when he saw that someone was walking out of a nearby hut. The tall, bearded man didn't notice him; he seemed to be simply admiring the scenery. Without thinking, Anakin began walking up to Obi-Wan. The older man did a double take when he noticed Anakin. He stood still, watching Anakin like a predator observing his prey.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin said, holding his hands up to show his peace. He was now face to face with this old master and friend. Obi-Wan opened his mouth as if to say something and then shut it. He stared at Anakin as if he were a ghost and then suddenly swung his arm and hit Anakin in the nose, hard.

"OW," Anakin said, clutching his nose. Through his streaming eyes, he saw Obi-Wan raise his hand to call his lightsaber to it.

"Wait," Anakin said. "Please. Just let me talk. Here," he took his lightsaber, the one he had as a Jedi, out of his belt and handed it to Obi-Wan. He took it, flashing Anakin a suspicious glare.

"I'm sure that by now you've heard that I killed Palpatine," Anakin began.

"Not that you killed him," Obi-Wan interjected. "Just that he was no longer Emperor."

"Okay then you assumed he was dead."

"I had my suspicions," Obi-Wan said coolly. Anakin took a deep breath, he knew that he would receive this coldness from Obi-Wan, but it still hurt to hear it coming from someone who was like a brother to him.

"_Like I treated him better," _Anakin thought bitterly.

"I am in power now and I want to restore the Republic and the Order."

"Both of which you destroyed. I fail to see why you've had such a change of heart," Obi-Wan said, crossing his arms.

Anakin hesitated, he knew that Obi-Wan would be hard to convince. He chose his words carefully, "Look, a few months ago I felt the birth of my child through the Force. Since then, I became more and more disillusioned with the Empire. I couldn't deal with the fact that I may never see my son. I finally just had it, so I killed him. I want things to go back to normal," Anakin said, his voice cracking slightly at the mention of his child.

"What about the Jedi you killed?" Obi-Wan said angrily, unable to make his voice sound impassive anymore. Anakin's entire face drooped. He put a hand over his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the sting he was feeling in the corner of his eyes.

"I will never, ever be able to forgive myself or expect others to forgive me completely for that. However, I hope you can recognize that I will place more blame on myself than anyone else ever could." Obi-Wan nodded, his expression slightly softer. He looked off into the suns, lost in his thoughts.

"Is Padme here?" Anakin asked quietly after a few minutes of silence. Obi-Wan looked at him hard. He knew that his old master was searching for deceit. Anakin counted to twenty in his head and Obi-Wan finally gave the slightest of nods, then looked back into the suns.

"Yeah," he said quietly. Anakin rolled his eyes, his patience running low.

"May I see her?" he asked. Obi-Wan sighed, "Yes, but let me talk to her first." He watched Obi-Wan walk into the house. Now he was the one feeling suspicious. Why would Obi-Wan go to talk to Padme? Were they in a relationship? Had they found comfort in each other over the past few months? No, he shook the thoughts out of his head. He sensed no romantic feelings from Obi-Wan towards Padme. They were simply good friends. After a minute Obi-Wan reappeared in the small doorframe.

"She's going to be tough to talk to," Obi-Wan admitted. "But come on."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters belong to George.

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The steps he took down to the main level of the house seemed like an eternity. With each small step it seemed that he had lived his whole life, time after agonizing time. And then he saw her. She was standing at the foot of the tall staircase, wringing her hands slightly. She dropped her hands to her sides when she saw him, her expression unreadable. He was now the same level as her and stopped moving, taking in her beauty. He could have stood looking at her for a lifetime. He studied every detail of her face as if he was going to paint her from memory. He noticed that Obi-Wan had made himself scarce, mumbling something about fixing a droid. Padme finally blinked and looked away from him. Tears glistened in her eyes and one rolled down her cheek. Oh how he wished he could touch that cheek, wipe the tear away with his thumb as he had so many times before. It took every ounce of self-restraint he had in his body to keep his hands to himself.

"You know," she said quietly, looking away from him. "A year ago, if I were to make a list of things that were never going to happen, you Force choking me and becoming a Sith lord, abandoning your family would have been right at the top," she said, her eyes shining with more tears.

"Padme," he finally said, his voice coming out hoarse. "I…I don't know where to begin. I'm sorry." She pressed her lips together and shut her eyes, her head still turned so she didn't have to look at him.

"I only wanted to save you," he said, his voice quiet. He walked a little closer to her, testing his boundaries slightly.

"By almost killing me and then abandoning me?" She said, looking him straight in the eyes now. Her brown eyes were fiery, the tears replaced by anger.

"It was not my intention to do that. I felt that I had no one to turn to, not even you. You pushing me away made me crazy, it made me do things I would never do and am so ashamed of," he said. "It's not that I'm blaming you at all, this is my fault. I would have run from me too." Tears slid like raindrops down her face, she didn't try to hide them anymore. He felt wetness on his own cheeks too, but he still continued. "I hope that you believe me when I say that what I did will plague me for years, but I'm trying to make it better. I'm trying really hard. I want to restore the Republic, the Order. But mostly, I want to be in my child's life and yours. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, because I can never forgive myself, but I hope that I can at least be a presence for our baby." He reached out to touch her arm but the minute his skin came in contact with hers she flinched away from him as if his hand was white-hot. His heart gave a small, painful twinge. He should have expected as much from her.

"Anakin," she said, sniffing and wiping her face. She tried to regain control, hyperventilating slightly from her sobs. "I believe you and I could not support you more in your plans to restore the Republic. But I cannot be in a relationship with you," her tears began again when she spoke of their relationship. Her words stung, but they were better than what he had expected. He was anticipating more anger, less understanding.

"I always sensed darkness in you, but I never once believed you would turn on me," she said flatly. He bowed his head.

"You left your children, Anakin. The life we had planned all because Sidious manipulated you."

"Children?" he asked suddenly, looking up. She blinked, realizing what she had said. It hadn't been her intention to tell him like this-or really to ever tell him at all. If he was lying, she had just put the two most important people in the universe to her in great danger. She hesitated for a heartbeat before she finally decided that he already knew enough.

"I was pregnant with twins. A boy and a girl." Anakin's heart leapt, but he tried hard not to smile. He was speechless. Nothing made him happier than having a child, let alone two.

"Oh," he managed to say after a minute, attempting to keep his expression impassive. He knew it wasn't working, his grin finally coming to surface on his face. "What are their names?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now," she said dismissively.

"Padme," Anakin said, taking a deep breath to stay calm. "They're my kids too." She laughed. It was no the bubbly laugh that had always made Anakin's heart beat faster and smile for no reason. It was cold and merciless; he had never heard something so awful come from Padme.

"Your children? You haven't even met them," she said, practically jeering at him. Despite her laughter, she looked even sadder. He gritted his teeth. It was hard to keep the anger he had been so used to acting on under control, but he knew he had to if he had any chance with Padme.

"I want to try to make things better," Anakin said. "Can I meet them?" If it was possible, she looked even more miserable. She took a sharp, shaky breath in and rubbed her hand down her face.

"They're asleep," she said quietly, her eyes closed.

"I'll be quiet," he said hopefully. She opened her eyes long enough for Anakin to see them roll.

"Fine," she said, turning around and walking towards a closed silver door. He assumed that she was walking to the nursery, so he followed close behind her. The door slid open with a whoosh and Padme walked in, not bothering to see if Anakin was following her. Two cribs sat in the middle of the small, dark room. Because of his excellent night vision, Anakin could see that one crib was pink and one blue.

"Be careful of the toys on the ground, some of them make noise," Padme said quietly, picking a few of them up. Anakin looked down and noticed the multicolored toys on the ground. They were animals and small everyday objects designed to make sounds that were entertaining to babies.

"Let me," he whispered, picking up the toys with the Force and putting them in a small basket in the corner.

"Thank you," she said stiffly, briefly watching the toys gather together in mid air and float to the basket before walking over to the pink crib. She looked down at the small baby and smiled for the first time since Anakin had arrived. He cautiously walked up next to her, hoping she wouldn't stop him. His stomach flip-flopped when he looked down at the sleeping baby. She looked so perfect, so peaceful. Her small thumb was slightly in her mouth and her long, dark eyelashes rested on her pink cheeks.

"She's…" Anakin said, unable to pick a word to describe her.

"I know," Padme said softly.

"What's her name?"

"Leia," Padme said. Anakin smiled and reached down to stroke the small amount of hair on his daughter's head.  
"I remember talking about that name. It was my favorite," he said, smiling at Padme. She gave him a withering look and shrugged, "I liked it too. It seemed to fit her." She adjusted the green blanket covering Leia and moved on to the blue crib. Anakin smiled down at Leia, wishing he could hold her. A blood-chilling cry erupted in the room. Anakin nearly reached for his lightsaber before he realized that it was the other baby. Padme picked him up and quickly walked out of the room. Anakin looked back at Leia to make sure she was still asleep and followed Padme, making sure to shut the door. He followed the sounds of screams and found Padme standing in the small, sand-colored kitchen, holding the baby to her shoulder and making shushing sounds.

"This is Luke," she said over the noise. "He doesn't sleep very well." She began swaying back and fourth slightly in an attempt to calm the screaming child. This had no effect on his cries except to make them a bit louder.

"Could I hold him?" he asked, practically yelling. She faltered for a heartbeat, looking him up and down. She sighed when Luke began pressing his head into her shoulder, his tiny fists grabbing at her hair.

"I suppose," she said, gently prying Luke's hands away from her long brown hair. "Be careful." She put him in Anakin's outstretched hands and the baby immediately quieted, his blue eyes looking in awe at the new person holding him.

"Wow," Anakin breathed, looking down at Luke in amazement. He smiled down at his son, who then smiled back at him, giggling. Padme quirked an eyebrow, "He likes you."

"He's great," Anakin said quietly. Padme couldn't suppress the happiness she felt at seeing her son finally in his father's arms. She realized too late that he could easily sense her feelings and did her best to block him out. However, he beamed up at her, realizing how happy she was. Her smile vanished and she glared at him again, crossing her arms.

"Padme, I'm sorry," he said.

"I don't want to hear it," she said angrily. "You can't just come back after doing such terrible things and expect me to support you or even be cordial to you." She took Luke from him after she noticed that Luke had peacefully fallen back to sleep and walked into the nursery, tucking him into his crib. Anakin followed her hotly.

"We're not done talking," he said.

"I am," she said, brushing past him as she walked out of the room.

"You have lived your whole life not hating anyone and you chose to start now with your husband?" he said as he walked quickly behind her. She stopped and turned to face him, anger radiating off of her. Though she was much shorter than him, in her anger she seemed to tower over him.

"No, I have never truly hated anyone before. However, I have never truly trusted or loved anyone as much as I trusted and loved you. I thought you felt the same about me," she said, her voice steady despite the raw emotions running through her.

"I do. Don't you see that my love for you pushed me into the darkside?" he asked, desperately trying to make her understand.

"So it's my fault?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"No, you know that's not what I mean," he said angrily. "You know my experiences with dreams. You know that I saw you dying in childbirth. I couldn't-," his voice cracked and he took a deep breath, pressing lightly on his eyelids. "I couldn't deal with you dying. You're my world, Padme," he said, his voice quiet. He put his hands on both of her arms. Thankfully, she didn't pull away this time.

"I never stopped loving you," he whispered, taking a step towards her and leaning down slightly.

"I," she said, stepping closer to him as well. She leaned up as he leaned down and their lips brushed together, lightly at first but then passionately. He put his hands on her hips and she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, pulling him even closer. Suddenly she pushed him away, her face red.

"I can't," she said quietly. "I just can't right now." He was painfully reminded of the day so many years ago on Naboo when they had first kissed. The same bitter hopelessness nagged at his heart as he looked down at her, his hands at his sides.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it," he said quietly, unable to mask the pain in his voice. She felt a twinge of guilt as she saw his pain, but she did nothing about it. His expression was that which one might assume when hearing of the death of a close friend. She resisted the urge to hug him tightly, as she had so many times in the past. Instead she hugged her arms around her and tried not to look at him, focusing her attention at a point on the beige wall.

"Will you at least help me reassemble the Republic?" he asked, deciding it was better to change the subject than to focus on the sore silence.

"Of course," she said quietly.

"So you'll go to Coruscant with me?" He asked. She sighed, "I suppose I have to. I have a lot of ideas as to how to restore it."

"I'm sure your ideas are better than mine," he said, half-smiling at her.

"Would we tell the public about our past relationship?" she asked.

"I don't know," Anakin said, grimacing at her point of saying 'past.' "I don't know if I'll be brought to trial, convicted or something. I don't want your career to be put in jeopardy or the kids to face a sort of danger."

"If I had any influence in it I would try to make sure you don't get tried for anything," she said.

"That's not fair. I don't want people to hate me forever. Maybe if I get punished like I deserve it'll help public opinion."

"You should wait and see how they feel once it gets out you killed Palpatine," she said.

"Oh, hello," Obi-Wan said as he walked into the kitchen.

"We were just discussing the Republic," Padme said.

"Yes, we should probably talk about the Order as well," Obi-Wan said, glancing at Anakin. He saw the flash of anger in Obi-Wan's glance and hung his head.

"I'm going to go to sleep," Padme said. "We'll discuss more-at least about the Republic-tomorrow."

"Goodnight," Obi-Wan said, smiling at her.

"Night," Anakin said. She nodded to each of them and quickly left the room.

"So, which Jedi are left?" Anakin asked quietly.

"Not many. The Empire did a good job of exterminating them," Obi-Wan said pointedly. Anakin visibly flinched, biting the corner of his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said, seeing Anakin's face.

"No, I deserve it."

"Will you still be a Jedi?" Obi-Wan asked. Anakin laughed mirthlessly, "I don't think that would be allowed."

"Very few are left. The ones that are are mostly masters who may be…sympathetic," Obi-Wan said, stroking his beard. "I would certainly vote you back in."

"Why?"

"Because you've obviously reformed. Yes, you destroyed the Order but you're also building it back up, which is something no one else could have done. You killed the Emperor and thus the Sith."

"Well, I agree but will anyone else?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." They sat quietly for a few minutes, Anakin thinking of what might happen to him. Would he be arrested and tried? Would he ever become a Jedi again? And, most importantly, would Padme ever take him back?

"She's missed you," Obi-Wan said, practically reading Anakin's thoughts.

"What?"

"Padme. She's missed you desperately, despite her attitude now," Obi-Wan said. "We would sometimes talk about you. Each time she insisted that there was still good in you. She was right."

"I'm glad you think that," Anakin said slowly, not really sure what to think himself.

"I hear her cry every night."

"She doesn't seem to want me back now," Anakin said bitterly.

"She's just stubborn, you know that better than I. She's afraid of getting hurt again, it's going to take time," Obi-Wan said knowingly. Anakin smiled at him, giving a questioning look.

"We've had some pretty in-depth talks," Obi-Wan admitted. Obi-Wan smiled slightly as he saw Anakin's face darken, "I know what you're thinking. It never got past friendship-not even close. She loves you too much."

"Will you go to Coruscant tomorrow? I need to go back. I'm a little afraid of some of Sidious's supporters catching wind that he's been killed and I have no intention to carry on his regime."

"What are you going to say?"

"Well, tomorrow I'm going to officially announce his death. Say that Tarkin and the other advisors killed him and I was forced to execute them."

"Simple," Obi-Wan said skeptically, his eyebrow quirked.

"Very few people want to question me," Anakin said darkly, his fist clenched. "But it would be easy if I weren't there, which is why I need to get back."  
"You can sleep here but I'm afraid we don't have any other beds," Obi-Wan said impassively.

"Floor is fine," Anakin said. "I remember sleeping worse places during the Clone War."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan said, looking at his hands. "I suppose I'll go meditate and then sleep. Goodnight." Anakin nodded and watched him leave. It wasn't that he expected them to take him back with open arms, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Padme was his wife, the one person in the world who was supposed to support him and love him no matter what. She was hardly speaking to him now. Why couldn't she just take him back? She obviously had feelings for him still; he could sense it. Plus, he wasn't the only one who went for that kiss-even if she had pulled away. Her feelings for him were still definitely there. That wasn't the issue, though.

"_How could she ever be with someone who's so evil?" _that nagging voice in his head said. He pushed the unwelcome thought out of his brain. She had ignored her more rational, political instincts before when she had married him in the first place, but would she do that again? He sighed and looked around. The room was nearly identical to the kitchen in the house he had grown up in. Though it was standard Tatooine design with sandy beige walls, a small table and chairs, and basic appliances, it had little things reminiscent of Padme's house on Naboo. Small holos of Luke and Leia were in a pile on the table. Brightly colored paintings and small tapestries decorated the plain walls. Red and orange placemats sat in front of each chair on the table and pink shimmering candles were placed in the middle. The doors had intricately designed curtains over the openings. There was no doubt that Padme was trying to make this into as much of a home as she could. In a way, it was comforting that she was still the same person he remembered her being, always trying to make the best of bad situations. He picked up the pile of holos and flipped through them slowly. He felt a twinge of guilt in the back of his head as he saw the twin's images. Where he started, the babies were as they were now, six months old. They were sitting outside on a purple blanket in the sand. The moving picture showed them laughing as Artoo spun in circles around them, beeping musically. As he went through, he seemed to be going backwards in time. Luke and Leia got younger and younger. He smiled sadly as he realized how much of their short lives he had been absent for. He had never had a father himself and Padme becoming pregnant was completely unplanned-but the few times he had thought about what would happen if they had kids he had hoped that he would be a good father. He'd been a pretty bad one so far, he thought. He flipped past a holoimage of a sleeping Leia and nearly dropped the whole pile in surprise. Instead of Luke and Leia, he saw an image of himself smiling up at him. The holo-Anakin was standing on the balcony in Varykino that he and Padme had been married on. The sun was setting in the background, turning the sky a beautiful shade of orange that seemed to glow. His arms were around Padme's waist, hands crossing over her stomach. The hologram Anakin would alternate looking at whoever taking the picture-he assumed it was C-3PO-and down at Padme, who was beaming up at him. Slowly, he remembered when this picture was taken. It was a little over a year ago when Anakin was on leave from the war. They had ten days to themselves, but Obi-Wan had pulled Anakin away early to search for Asajj Ventress. This was back when her love for him shone like a star in the sky. He thought it could never burn out. He smiled wryly as he realized that this must have been around the same time Luke and Leia were conceived. In many ways, this was the beginning of the end of his old life. He yawned and put the holos down, rubbing his eyes. He made a mental note to look at the holo of them when Padme was around; he was interested in her response. He walked into the small living room, which was connected to the twin's room. He could feel Padme's Force signature in the room next to them. Someone had left a folded blanket and pillow on the floor for him. It must have been Padme because it was folded so neatly-Anakin remembered that Obi-Wan was never one for tidiness. He unfolded the blanket and lay on the floor, positioning the pillow underneath his head and arranging the blanket over himself. The pillow was firm, the way he liked it. It made him a little happier telling himself that Padme must have remembered this preference and given the pillow to him accordingly. He tried to make himself relax and he shut his eyes. Sleeping had been a challenge lately. After nearly an hour of trying to calm his noisy mind, he was in the realm of half-sleep, half-consciousness. He was lying in soft, green grass looking at up a blue Naboo sky. Something was rustling around him and saw that it was Padme running through the grass toward him. She was wearing a flowing yellow dress that came off of her pale, smooth shoulders.

"Ani," she called, smiling at him. He opened his mouth to call out to her but was jolted awake by a baby's cry. Panic swept through him as he imagined the type of danger his children could be in and he bolted into the room. He immediately relaxed when he realized no one was in the room. The cry was coming from the pink crib. Leia was bawling so Anakin picked her up gently and took her out of the room.

"Shh, Leia," he said, rocking the baby. "What's wrong?" He couldn't tell what she needed. Desperately trying to think back to the holobooks on parenting Padme had given him, he went through everything it could be. She wasn't hot, didn't need changing and didn't seem to be calmed by him holding her.

"She's hungry," Padme said. He hadn't heard her come into the room and nearly jumped in surprise. It was rare that he let his guard down so much he couldn't sense someone's presence.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"I can tell," Padme said, taking the baby from Anakin and going into the kitchen. He followed her and watched as she took a bottle of blue milk from the cooling chamber and fed Leia.

"I was looking at the holos," he said quietly, gesturing to the square images.

"Oh, yeah," Padme said absently, smiling down at Leia.

"I liked the one of us."

"That was so long ago," she said coldly.

"Not really," he said, moving closer to her. She glared at him, still holding the bottle to Leia's mouth.

"Yes, well, I barely remember that," she said, her expression growing icier. His face fell. That was one of the best times of his life and he knew it was hers too. She knew how much saying that would hurt him.

"Oh," he simply said. Without another word, she walked out of the room. He heard a door whoosh open and closed three times, meaning she was back in her room and Leia back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The air was hot before the twin suns had even completely risen. Ever since he left Tatooine as a child, heat had always made it hard for Anakin to breath and think. It got to him for reasons he couldn't explain, always made him irritable. As he felt it around him he wished he had shorter hair and thinner clothes on, cursing himself for wearing nearly all black. He felt suffocated. His feet felt like lead weights, the sand like molasses, but he kept walking. He slowed as he approached the gray headstone, glancing around for bystanders. After his confrontation the night before he was in no mood to speak with anyone, let alone his former brother and father-in-law. He looked down at the sand infront of the grave his mother lay underneath. Prior to a few months ago, he had taken no greater comfort than knowing his mother was watching over him, that she was always with him. However, right now, he hoped that she couldn't see the monster her son had turned into. He picked up a handful of sand and let the tiny rough grains slip through his fingers.  
"I'm sorry," he said after they had all fallen to the ground. "I guess things just weren't supposed to happen fore me. I…" he broke off as he felt a warm, familiar feeling at the back of his head from the Force. He didn't need to look to see who it was.  
"Padme," he said quietly, staring down at the sand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you," she said. "I just heard you walk out here and it was so early I…I didn't know what you were doing."

"You actually thought I was leaving?" he said, looking back at her with a crooked smile. She was wrapped in a short, flowing robe that displayed her long, tan legs. The material was mostly white with large orange and gold flowers. Regal looking butterflies sat on large black circles in the small amount of space left between the flowers. As she noticed his gaze she wrapped the robe tighter around her, pulling the red rope around her tiny waist. He rolled his eyes, who was she kidding? He had seen more of her than was being exposed by the rather skimpy piece of clothing.

"I brought the kids here a few times," she said slowly. To his surprise, she walked up next to him. They were practically touching and she showed no sign of discomfort in their proximity to each other. She looked down at the grave sadly.

"I remember when I first met her. She was so kind. She would have been so proud of you, Ani," she said quietly. He smiled slightly at her use of the name she had called him as a term of endearment before all of the problems, a name she had made a point of not using since he had arrived. Slowly, he put his arm around her shoulder, anxious for her reaction.  
"Anakin," she said, looking up at him. Her tone wasn't angry or reprimanding as it had been before. It was kind and gentle; the Padme he loved.  
"You know I'm not happy with you and I know I've been cold. Not everything will automatically go back to the way it was before, but I'm willing to work on our relationship if you are."

"You know I want to," he said, pulling her in closer. She hugged him, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm glad you came back," she said, her voice slightly muffled. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.

"Why did you come here?" he asked, voicing the question he had been wondering since he had seen Tatooine on his ship's viewscreen.  
"I knew that you wouldn't want to look here," she said, taking her head off his chest to look up at him. Her lips were parted slightly and she shut her eyes as he slightly opened his own lips and leaned down. Artoo beeped behind them, shaking Padme out of her brief moment of vulnerability.  
"Wait," she said, stepping back from him and looking down at her feet. He breathed in sharply and looked at the sky. He didn't get it. One minute she was letting him hold her, acting as if she wanted more and the next she jumped away from him as if he had burned her.  
"I'm sorry, Anakin," she said, touching his arm. He shook her hand off, still staring at the sky as if he wanted the suns to blind him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he said coldly.

* * *

Padme sat perched on the edge of a black, cushioned bench seat next to Anakin. She stared at the blinking buttons on the control panel. Could they all really be for the violent endeavors of the emperor? She glanced at Anakin who was flying the large ship. His beautiful blue eyes seemed darker than they were before. Perhaps it only looked like that because his eyes were so much narrower than usual. His normally striking face seemed dim, as if the spark of life that had always been inside Anakin had extinguished. His eyes appeared sunken, the dark bags underneath them telling of the lack of sleep he'd received. His jaw was square, his lips pressed thin. He was more than just angry with her. She had hurt him badly. The better side of her felt awful. He had killed Sidious and wanted to restore all that she had worked for, couldn't she just forgive him? But the other side of her remembered how he had treated her. He had nearly killed her, his own wife, the woman he had put everything on the line for. He deserved to be hurt the way he had hurt her. But still, surely he had suffered too. She knew him better than anyone else; she knew how much he loved her, how much he lived for her. Was it fair for her to make him suffer more? They hadn't spoken since their talk in the morning and the air that hung between them was sore and uncomfortable. Before she could stop them, her eyes drooped and her head sunk forward. She hadn't slept the night before, her mind consumed with thoughts of her husband. Her head sprang back up, her heart racing. She wanted to be alert incase they were attacked. But wouldn't it be easier to stay alert if she got some sleep now? She didn't have much time to consider her options as the next second her eyes were shut and she slumped over, unconsciously resting her head on Anakin's shoulder.

He glanced down at her and felt the ice block that had formed around his heart since that morning thawed slightly. They were stopping on Naboo to leave Luke, Leia and C-3PO with Padme's parents until they were sure everything was safe. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Padme's parents. He wasn't sure exactly how much she had personally told them, but he knew they knew he was Darth Vader-in their eyes an evil man.

"Padme, you awake?" he said quietly.

"No," she said, her eyes still closed. He smiled; remembering that that was what she had always said when he woke her up at night.

"Do your parents…" he trailed off. She opened her eyes and sat up quickly when she realized where her head had been. She looked behind her and found that Obi-Wan still wasn't there. He had gone into the ship's small quarters to meditate and give her and Anakin some time alone.

"Do they know about us?" she asked, finishing his thought. He nodded, his eyes on the viewscreen. She let out a whoosh of air and crossed her arms.

"I have only seem them once since the twins were born. I didn't want to bring any danger to them and I wasn't sure if the emperor was following me, so I tried to stay in Tatooine as much as possible. I wouldn't have told them, but my mother specifically asked if you were the father. I couldn't lie after being asked a direct question, otherwise I would have hid it."

"And our marriage?" he asked, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. There was another whoosh of air being exhaled and she crossed her legs, tapping her foot slightly.

"I…In Naboo it is considered very shameful to have a child out of wedlock," she said slowly, choosing her words very carefully. "I didn't want to bring them any sort of dishonor so I told them everything."  
"So they'll be really thrilled about seeing me," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"So someone isn't going to be enamored with the Hero With No Fear Anakin Skywalker or, as is the case more recently, terrified into flattering the great Lord Vader. I think you'll live," she said angrily.

"Shut up!" he yelled, unable to think of a better comeback in his anger that had finally come to a boil. She crossed her arms, her lips curled into a small smile, her eyes glittering. He stood up and turned away from her, running a hand through his hair violently as if he was trying to pull it out.

"You know I never bought into the hero thing."

"Maybe not, but you loved it. Even during the war, you loved the power and fame that your unofficial title represented."

"So what? Like you're so immune to the lure of power. Why was it again you accepted the Queen's offer to become senator?" he asked, turning to face her, his lips twisted into a defiant grin.

"Because she was insistent," Padme said indignantly.

"Mhm," Anakin said, laughing. He knew that taunting her would only make her angrier, which was quite entertaining for him at the moment. "Maybe that was a little part of it, but I know a certain senator who doesn't know what to do with herself when she's not controlling things." He smiled widely in triumph. He had actually made her angrier. Her face was red and splotchy, her hair beginning to fall out of the two buns on either side of her head. He suppressed a laugh when he saw that she was actually speechless, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"What did you say?" She hissed, her face scrunched up. "You…You…" she stuttered. She looked a little like a volcano about to erupt. She took a deep breath and straightened up, her eyes narrow. She looked every bit a queen.

"My idea of power is not killing or terrifying those who get in my way or disagreeing with me. I do not wield it to benefit myself, but to benefit my people. That is where you and I differ." He bit the inside of his cheek. For the first time since he had known her, he thought "_Bitch." _Instead of yelling that and a few other expletives, he threw up his hands, "I can't talk to you like this." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

"Oh you can't deal with _me_ like this? Real mature," she yelled after him. "Wait, who's flying the ship?"

"Auto-pilot," he called over his shoulder right before the door slid shut.

He stormed down the hallway, mumbling to himself about queens and senators and pride, his fists clenched. He brushed past C-3PO who was saying something to him that fell on deaf ears. He was so focused on getting as far away from her as possible, he nearly smacked into Obi-Wan, who was walking towards him.

"Woah, slow down," Obi-Wan said, putting his hands on Anakin's shoulders to stop him. "Oh, sorry, Master," Anakin said, putting a hand to his head. "I wasn't really paying attention."

"You're tense. Padme?" Obi-Wan said. Anakin nodded. Even though his old master wasn't happy with him, he always could tell exactly what was bothering Anakin.

"I love her so much but she can be so infuriating. She's stubborn, unwilling to admit defeat and always thinks that her way is the right way. God forbid she listens to anyone else."

"Which are many of the same qualities you also possess," Obi-Wan said, giving Anakin a slightly condescending smile. Anakin crossed his arms and frowned, pursing his lips, "Perhaps."

"Excited to see your in-laws again?" Obi-Wan asked. His voice sounded bit too cheerful for Anakin's liking.

"Yep, the first time they'll officially be my in-laws I guess. I'm sure they'll be happy to see me, I can hear Padme now," his voice got higher and his nose stuck slightly in the air. "Hello mother, father. You remember my husband, His Imperial Majesty Darth Vader."

"Oh come on, she wont use both titles," Obi-Wan said, chuckling.

"Yeah, you're right. She'll probably just say Lord Vader the Terrible or something classy like that," he said. Though he was joking, Obi-Wan could sense the still serious tone in his friend's voice. It would be a sore subject with him for a while. Obi-Wan slapped a hand on his shoulder, "Things will get better." Anakin nodded, frowning.

"So, you never got to tell me exactly who is left," Anakin said.  
"Well, the only one I have been in contact with is Yoda," Obi-Wan said matter-of-factly. Anakin turned his face away from Obi-Wan's fierce, hawk-like gray eyes. Admittedly, he was being incredibly understanding but Anakin could still hear his masked criticism in Obi-Wan's voice. He sighed, recognizing Anakin's guilt; "There's no point in constantly placing blame on you, Anakin. Let's just put it behind us, it'll come up another time. It's going to take a lot of work to build up the Order. We both know that. Anyway, I would just like to say that I really have no desire to see Padme's family again, so while you're there I will stay with the ship and try to contact Yoda."

"Where is he hiding?"

"Dagobah."

* * *

"Okay," Anakin said, angling the ships controls down. "Here's the plan. We're going to land in the palace and I will claim that it is for an impromptu meeting with the queen in regard to her adherence to Order 66. We need to not rouse suspicion, so I'll be acting the way Vader does. You," he said, nodding to Padme, "and Obi-Wan will stay on the ship. Once I am alone with Queen Apailana I will explain what we're doing and hopefully think of a way to get to your parents house unnoticed." Padme gave a tiny nod in recognition.

"Or," he said, his eyes fixed on the ships large window that displayed a blue and green dot that was growing into a larger sphere. "You could go to your parents by yourself. We wouldn't have to go through this whole show."

"If you don't think that trying to reconcile things with my parents is a good idea then by all means stay back," she said, her voice ice cold. His grip tightened on the controls, his jaw set, knowing that he had to see her parents. As they neared the planet Anakin pressed a large button and spoke into it with the authority and confidence Padme had only heard from him on the battlefield.

"Imperial landing dock 0448, this is Darth Vader requesting to land."

"Lord Vader," a breathy, young-sounding voice said. "Yes, yes of course."

Anakin clicked off the comlink. They were still a good ten minutes away from landing.

"That'll give them some time to prepare," Anakin said, half-smiling in Padme's direction. She didn't look at him and he slouched lower in his seat. As they landed Padme could see all the minions who had assembled to greet Vader. It looked like a perfect, breathing square. She shook her head in disgust. Though they only had about nine minutes to get ready, they had managed to assemble about ten officials and fifty storm troopers. The ship hissed as they landed and Anakin calmly flicked switches and pushed buttons that each made the ship hum.

"Alright, wait here. Get Luke and Leia ready," he said, nodding to the two cribs that had been relatively quiet the whole ride. He stood up, a completely different expression on his face than was there before. His eyes looked black and lifeless, his mouth twisted into a scowl. The people assembled outside of the ship grew stiffer as each click of his black boots grew louder. As he slowly walked down the sliver ramp, he noticed that one lackey in particular seemed to be practically bouncing at his approach, a datapad pressed to his chest.

"Lord Vader," the man said. Anakin nodded in acknowledgment and stopped walking, looking blankly at the man. He bobbed on each foot for a second, unsure of what to do at Anakin's silence. He shoved the datapad into another underling's chest and threw himself to the ground, curling into a kowtow, practically banging his head on the ground.

"My name is John Smith, Lord Vader. I'm the Queen's chief adviser," he said into the polished floor. Anakin smirked at the man's display. Yes, he was completely in control of this situation and all of these people. It wont be much of a problem to explain his companions. But still, he knew he shouldn't be too hasty.

"Rise," Anakin said. "I wish to speak with the Queen immediately." The man sprang to his feet, a terrified look on his face. "The-the Queen is in a meeting right now," he stuttered. Anakin's face darkened and his voice grew quieter, "Do you question me, Mr. Smith?"

"No, no, my Lord," he stuttered, his head bowed. "I will send for the Queen immdiately."

"As for everyone else," Anakin said, his voice growing in volume and power. "Leave now." The other officials beside John Smith shuffled out, murmuring and the clone troopers marched out in formation, their movements making crisp clicking sounds as they walked. The Queen walked quickly into the echoing room, her shoes clicking delicately. She was obviously flustered, a hand at her hair to make sure it was in place and her makeup slightly smudged.

"Lord Vader," she said stiffly, holding out her gloved hand. He took it and quickly brushed his lips against the back of her hand, hoping Padme wasn't watching.

"I apologize for not giving any notice in advance of my visit."

"The Emperor is always welcome here," she said, pulling her lips into a joyless smile. "What is the nature of your visit?" Anakin hesitated; he wasn't really sure how to explain it.

"Queen Apailana," a gentle voice from behind him said. Even after all these years, the voice could still make his heart beat faster. He turned around to see Padme standing confidently at the top of the ramp. The young queen's eyes widened, "Senator Amidala," she said in disbelief. Her large eyes flicked in between Anakin and Padme. When Padme had fled Coruscant, she came to Queen Apailana and told her what had happened between her and Anakin. At the time, it seemed like a good idea to have someone else aware of their relationship and why she had to run away.

"I have returned from my brief sabbatical," Padme continued, walking down the ramp. "And wish to visit my family with," she paused, looking at Anakin with piercing eyes. "With Lord Vader. We are great friends and he has not seen my family in years." She knew that someone was probably listening in and did not want to draw attention to their relationship.

"Yes," Anakin said. "And, of course, it would not be appropriate for others to see me. Will you provide a transport for us?"

"Yes, yes of course," she said, regaining her composure.

"Milady," Padme said, her voice lowering to a whisper. "Is there somewhere we can go where our conversation may be our own?" Padme had used the phrase Naboo queens used when they wished to discuss something with no advisers or others listening in.

"Certainly. My throne room will suffice," she said, leading them out of the large room. Anakin shot her an angry look, "I told you to stay in the ship," he whispered.

"Yes, well, it looks like I'm taking care of things," she said sharply. Hit bit back his retort as they entered the large throne room. The queen took a seat behind her desk and gestured for Padme and Anakin to sit in the cushioned seats across from her. She pressed a button on the arm of her chair.

"Alright, no one is listening or watching," she assured them.

"I know that you were not a supporter of the Empire," Anakin said. Her face drained of color, "No, no of course I was. It was a bit of a shock, yes, but—"

"Your Highness," Anakin said, holding up a hand. "You do not need to lie. I am in the process of restoring the Republic and the Jedi Order. Since you were not a follower, I was wondering if you could tell me the whereabouts of any surviving Jedi." She glanced at Padme who nodded reassuringly, "He isn't lying."

"I have been hiding some here," she said slowly.

"How many?" Anakin asked, smiling. He was impressed she had been able as he felt they had done a pretty good job of killing Jedi who survived the initial execution of Order 66.

"Around five."

"There's a Jedi in my ship named Obi-Wan Kenobi. Please bring him to these Jedi while we're gone but make sure no one sees. I cannot have any Imperial advisers knowing about this. Obi-Wan will know what to do from there."

"Very well. I can get a private, closed-top speeder for you to take. You would need to drive it."

* * *

"You ready?" Padme asked as they reached the door of her parent's house.

"I guess," he said, leaning on the handles of the stroller.

"Hello," Padme called, opening the door and sauntered in. "Mom? Dad?"

"Padme? Is that you?" her mother called from upstairs.

"Yes and I brought the twins."

"Padme," her mother sang as she practically ran down the stairs. She kissed her daughter on the cheek and they hugged tightly. "We've been so worried about you."

"I know, but I'm fine, see," Padme said, breaking the hug and smiling widely at her mother.

"And where are the oh-" Jobal said, finally glancing at Anakin. She kept her hand on her daughter's shoulder protectively. "Oh um…hi!" She said, pulling on a contrived smile and hugging Anakin. "It's great to see you too. I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what to call you now."

"Anakin," he said stiffly.

"So are you two back together?" she asked slowly.

"Well, we're working on it," Padme said, rubbing Anakin's arm. "But for all intense and purposes yes."

"Wonderful," she said unenthusiastically, wringing her hands.

"Anakin wants to restore the Republic," Padme said, leading her mother to the blue couch. Anakin followed, pushing the small stroller in front of him. Padme reached down and picked up Leia, holding her on her lap and Anakin took Luke. "So I need to go to Coruscant with him to help. I don't want to take Luke and Leia because I'm not really sure how much danger there will be, so could we leave them with you for a few days?"

"Of course, we would be delighted," Jobal said, her smile no longer fake.

"Thank you so much mom. They shouldn't be too difficult; they're finally sleeping the whole night and everything else is pretty basic. I packed everything they need in the bag on the stroller. We should probably leave, Anakin has a lot to do."

"Oh please stay a little longer, at least until dinner," Jobal said pressingly. Padme and Anakin exchanged a look. Padme's expression was full of longing while Anakin's was indifferent. He knew how much she had missed her family.

"Well, it's up to Anakin," Padme said.

"I don't see a huge problem," he said, shrugging. Padme's expression softened slightly, "Where's dad?"

"He ran over to the neighbor's house, he should be back soon."

"I'm going to go send a message to Obi-Wan," Anakin said, handing Luke to Jobal and walking outside.

"So, what is really going on with you two?" Jobal asked, looking at her daughter knowingly. Padme sighed, hugging Leia to her, "One of the reasons Anakin realized his misstep in becoming a Sith was because he missed me and he couldn't live without me or the kids. A few days ago he found Obi-Wan and me on Tatooine and practically begged me to take him back."

"And you wont take him back," Jobal said, finishing her daughter's narrative.

"Of course not," Padme said. Jobal smiled at her, eyebrows slightly raised.

"What?" Padme asked. "I can't just take him back like nothing happened."

"I know that you can't, Padme," she said. Her voice was kind but it had a hint of exasperation in it. Padme rolled her eyes; she wasn't in the mood for one of her mother's lectures. "But I also know how much you still love him."

"So? Even if I do still love him, that doesn't mean I should just go running back into his arms after all he did. I'm surprised you actually want your youngest daughter to be with someone who is so evil," Padme said aggressively, glaring at her mother.

"Padme, you know that I am not thrilled with the things that Anakin has done recently but if he truly wants to make things right you should give him the chance."

"I am giving him the chance, I'm helping him restore the Republic aren't I?"

"Yes, dear, but life is not only about doing your duty."

"Here we go," Padme said, shaking her head angrily. "Here comes the talk about how I need to stop doing a service to my people and start focusing on myself."

"Sweetie, you decided to follow your heart once and look what it gave you," she said, gesturing to the babies.

"Yes but look what it also brought me. Look at the suffering I faced for the past few months and more importantly, the suffering the whole galaxy faced as a result of me following my heart."

"Of all the great qualities about you, forgiveness has never been one of your fortes. If you are going to forgive anyone it is your husband, someone you risked everything for in the past." Padme bit her lower lip and gazed down at Leia who was staring at her, wide eyed. She smiled at the baby, her heart melting at how enthralled they were by her and Anakin.

"Everything's set," Anakin said, walking quickly into the room. He smiled sadly at Padme who, for the first time, returned the gesture. She wondered how long he had been listening. Padme heard the door whoosh open, "Dad," she called, springing up to greet him.

"Padme," he said happily. Though Anakin couldn't see them, he could hear the excitement in Ruwee's voice at seeing his daughter. "Hello Leia. Where is your brother?"

"Luke's in the other room and so is Anakin." There was a brief pause, "Anakin's here?"

"Yes, dad. He's in the other room, come on," Padme said quietly. Anakin stood as Ruwee entered the room.

"Well, hello Anakin," he said politely, shaking Anakin's outstretched hand. "We didn't expect you here."

"Anakin wants to restore the Republic," Padme said before Anakin had a chance to respond. "So I'm helping him and we're going to leave the kids here for a few days." Ruwee smiled slightly, "Great. I'd love more time with my youngest grandchildren. Are you two staying for dinner?"

"Yes they most certainly are. Maybe we can call Sola and see if she would like to come, it would be like a family reunion," Jobal said cheerfully.

"Now, I'm not sure if that would be a good idea," Ruwee said, putting a hand on his wife's arm. "I'm sure Anakin would just like a quiet dinner." Anakin looked at his feet, he could sense the deep anger Ruwee felt towards him.

"Well, okay. Maybe when you come back to pick up the twins," Jobal said, her smile vanishing.

"I'm fine with anything," Anakin said, trying to make his voice sound cheerful.

"Then a simple dinner with just the four of us will work well," Padme added, forcing on a politician's smile.

* * *

The dinner was a solemn one. Anakin picked at the food, which smelled delicious, but he wasn't hungry for. He tried to look up as little as possible so he could avoid Ruwee's surly expression that had been directed at him for the past hour. The only thing that made the dinner nearly bearable was Padme and Jobal's chipper, albeit forced, chitchat. Padme was, for the first time in months, acting the way she usually did towards him. She was smiling at him, speaking to him in a way that had no hint of aggression, passive or otherwise. She was even holding his hand under the table, squeezing it and drawing circles on his palm with her fingertip. He didn't really know why she had such a sudden change of heart; maybe it was because she was starting to pity him or maybe it was something her mother said. He didn't care either way. He squeezed his hand in hers and grinned at her, his smile vanishing when he saw that Ruwee's countenance had grown sourer.

"So, Anakin, what really happened to Emperor Palpatine?" Ruwee asked sharply.

"Dad," Padme said reproachfully.

"I'm asking a simple question. The details have obviously been withheld. No doubt you played a large part in it and since you're a completely reformed member of this family and know a great deal about the inner workings of the Empire, I only thought you could enlighten us a bit," Ruwee said curtly. It didn't take Jedi senses as honed as Anakin's were to know that he was baiting him.

"Ruwee," Jobal said, her voice filled with warning.

"No, it's okay," Anakin said after a moment of tense silence. "The Emperor is dead, I killed him. The reason that hasn't been officially released to the public is because I'm worried about Palpatine's supporters figuring out what I was doing and trying to stop me." Suddenly the house shook, the wind whistling by. The lights flickered on and off repeatedly until they finally stayed on, their dim lighting casting eerie shadows in the room. Luke started crying and after hearing his screams his sister chimed in too.  
"Another storm," Jobal said, getting up to look out the window. Padme handed Leia to Anakin to comfort and then cuddled Luke to her, knowing that they were crying from the blinking lights and the loud wind and nothing else.

"It's pouring outside," Jobal observed. The wind practically shook the house. "There's no way you two can go back to the palace."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Anakin said firmly. He glanced at Padme, expecting her to back him up but found her biting her bottom lip.

"Well, storms this time of year can be pretty intense," she said slowly. Anakin exhaled sharply through his nose. This was exactly the situation he had wanted to avoid.

"So, what? We should stay the night?" Anakin said, audibly disgruntled.

"Let's discuss this in private," Padme said, her voice quiet but sharp. He put the no longer crying Leia back in her highchair next to her brother and followed Padme upstairs to her large room.

"Padme, we really need to get back," he said as the door slid shut. "We've been really careless and obvious about what I intend to do."

"I know, I know. It was stupid and selfish of me to stay for dinner but it would honestly be completely unsafe to leave right now. The wind in these storms has been known to blow speeders upside down."

"Okay, fine. Let's just stop arguing. My head is killing me," he said, sinking down onto her bed and resting his head in his hands. She sat down next to him slowly; tempted to rub his arm or rest her head on his shoulder. She thought about what her mother had said and knew she was right. Anakin had gotten enough grief from her, and she did love him dearly. There was no point in fighting it anymore. She took his hand and lowered her head onto his shoulder, sighing contentedly.

"Plus," she said, kissing his shoulder. "It might be nice to have a peaceful night." He raised his eyebrows and looked down at her, a surprised smile plastered on his face.

"What does that mean?" he asked. She smirked and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"I dunno. Just might be nice to talk."

"Hmm, so I take it you aren't mad at me anymore," he said, kissing her. She didn't pull away this time or even hesitate. She put her hands on the back of his head to deepen the kiss and they lay back on the bed. Padme's legs wrapped around his waist and he broke the kiss to move down to her neck, his hands moving to cup her breasts. She gasped as he sucked and bit the skin on her neck.

"Ani," she whispered, putting her hands on the back of his head. His mouth moved lower still and he started to pull down the straps on her dress. She could feel the bulge in his pants pressing on her leg. As much as she wanted to, they couldn't, not now.

"Anakin," she said, louder this time.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, his lips still on her neck.

"We…stop," she said, sitting up and pushing his head away. He groaned and buried his face in the pillow next to him, slamming his fists down on the bed.

"Blast," he muttered, rolling on to his back.

"Anakin, my parents are downstairs. Did you honestly think that it was going to happen right here? Right now? I'm not ready for that yet."

"Well, honestly yes, yes I did. You didn't exactly try to fight it," he said sullenly. She sighed and kissed his cheek, "I'll make it up to you some other time. Let's go downstairs." Anakin grinned sheepishly and blushed slightly, glancing down, "Uh, I'm going to need a second. You go." Padme gave a tiny embarrassed smile, her eyes sparkling, "Oh. I'll tell them you're calling Obi-Wan."

"Yeah, I'll do that." He watched her walk away and sighed, clicking on his comlink.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said through the static over the connection. "Are you going to come back in this storm?"

"No, Padme wont hear of it. We're leaving first thing tomorrow morning. How are the Jedi?" They had discovered that there were five Jedi currently hiding out with the Queen. A small number, but he knew that those Jedi knew the whereabouts of others.

"It's been difficult to convince them that you're actually reformed but it's getting there."

"Great. I don't think we should take them to Coruscant with us just yet. We can send for them once we're sure I'm the only person in charge."


	4. Chapter 4

Hey y'all, so I'm back. For those of you who read my stories regularly, I'm sorry it's been over a month since I've written anything. I was really busy and without internet access for a while. I wont be able to update my stories as often as I used to, but I promise that I never abandon anything. I should be updating The Knight soon as I have most of the next chapter written. I hope you like this.  
-B

* * *

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to George.

* * *

"You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real bitch."-Bill, Kill Bill Vol. 2. The last word is a little different, but I felt that the overall sentiment applied to this.

* * *

It was time to sleep. Sleep. It had been a meaningless word for him in the past few months. He would find it a few times a week for a few hours, constantly haunted with nightmares. But here he was, standing next to the star of most of his dark dreams and she was doing nothing she usually did in them. Surely a good sign. She was just standing there with him, staring silently into her room. Neither wanted to voice what both were thinking about, but someone had to eventually. It was almost a childish question, really; probably why both were too embarrassed to say anything. Anakin figured he might as well say it, especially considering she was the one who would have a problem with it.

"So…any sleeping arrangements in mind?" he asked, finally finding his voice. She walked forward towards the bed and pulled back the thick purple comforter, exposing a lighter purple sheet and luminous matching pillows.

"Do you mean are you going to sleep here? Next to me?" she asked matter-of-factly. He couldn't read her tone or her face, unsure if he as crossing the line with this question. She was being touchy about small things; this could be a big one even though she seemed to forgive him. He finally nodded slightly, his eyebrows raised quizzically. She turned her gaze to pitch-black sky outside of her large window. The intensity of the storm seemed to knock even the stars out of the sky, no light was visible.

"I suppose," she said slowly after a few moments of tense silence. Since their encounter a few hours earlier, she had turned as cold as ever. No, that wasn't necessarily true. She wasn't as cold as before, but she hardly said two words to him, hardly glanced at him. He didn't know why she had such a change of heart. He didn't get it, but at least she would respond to him. He sank down onto the edge of the left side of the bed, remembering that she always preferred the right. It was odd, the things he could remember about her, the small habits and behaviors she had for no reason other than that was what she preferred to do. He stared at the wall, figuring she'd feel more comfortable if he wasn't watching her change. He suddenly noticed something he was sure had never been there before and got up to look closer. Though he had only been in her room two or three times before, he had inspected it pretty thoroughly and was sure that a holophoto usually did not hang on that wall. His heart gave a tiny, painful twinge as he realized what it displayed. It was a small image of her and Obi-Wan. He held Luke and she Leia as they smiled brightly. Hot and stinging jealously surged up through his chest. It looked like a family portrait.

"Anakin, you aren't bothered by that picture, are you?" she asked softly. Despite his jealousy, his stomach flip-flopped as she said his name, which she hadn't done in a few hours.

I…" he started, struggling with his thoughts. Who was he to be jealous, suspicious of Obi-Wan? He was there for her when she needed someone the most, something Anakin was supposed to do. It was his fault.

"Looking at this picture makes me feel…ashamed," he answered truthfully, turning to look down at her. She put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small, sad smile; though he didn't feel he had done anything to put it on her face. She raised herself on her toes and kissed him lightly. He was taken aback but certainly didn't pull away, his hands flying to her hips. She broke the kiss, pressing her head into his chest. His chin found it's familiar spot on the top of her head and he wrapped his arms tighter around her as hers still rested a little below his shoulders.

"What was that for?" he whispered, though there was no reason for him to speak below a normal level.

"You should feel ashamed, Anakin. I'm not going to tell you that none of this is your fault, because it all is. However, I have missed you so much. I still love you as much as I ever did. I have been denied so much happiness lately, if you're what makes me happy, why should I push you away just on the principle of the thing if you truly recant all of your past actions? Consider this my one selfish act. I think I've earned a few."

"No complaints here," Anakin said, smiling widely. His smile faded slightly as he looked into her eyes, her expression growing more intense. He leaned down to kiss her again, this time harder. She responded willingly, her hands sliding up to the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his hair. But this time he was the one to pull away.

"Let's just stop it here," he said breathlessly, leaning against the wall behind him.

"You're right," she said. She reached up again, this time to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you. I'm tired, let's sleep." She peered into Leia's crib and then Luke's, gently arranging the blankets around him. She smiled as Luke grabbed her finger with his tiny fist and giggled. She leaned down to kiss him and gently pried her finger away. She lay down on the bed, rolling over so she wasn't facing Anakin.

Still standing by the holo, he watched her breathing begin to slow, the curve of her body move gently up and down with each quiet breathe. He had forgotten how much it made his heart swell just by watching her sleep; by knowing that she was his, only his, even after all that he had done to her. With a small wave of his hand the lights flicked off. He slipped into the bed next to her, shutting his eyes as he caught scent of her hair-the same smell that was sometimes left on his Jedi robes, which she liked to wear when she was cold. It was a sweet, flowery smell that in his mind could only be Padme.

* * *

The darkness that hit him the second he closed his eyes was being invaded. Shrill cries echoed in his ears, piercing the silence of the room. It took him a minute to realize what the invasive sound was, but the second he did his eyes snapped open and he sprang out of bed to take the crying Luke into his arms. He bounced him up and down gently in an attempt to silence him.

"Shh, come on Luke," he whispered, holding Luke up to his cheek. The baby kept crying and burrowed his head into Anakin's shoulder. As Anakin expected, the crying started coming from Leia's crib too. He cursed inwardly. There was no way he could calm both his children before Padme woke up, especially if they were hungry. He sighed as the lights turned on and Padme got out of bed, lifting Leia out of her crib.

"They aren't hungry," she said, nearly yelling over the noise. "I fed them a few hours ago."

"So, what's wrong then?" he asked, patting Luke on the back as he screamed. She didn't respond. She rocked Leia as she walked back to the bed and set her down towards the center, carefully lying down next to her as the child's cries began to cease.

"Sometimes they just want to know you're there. Put Luke next to her," Padme whispered as Leia's eyes began to droop. Anakin did as she told him and stood, looking down at the bed.

"Come back to bed, they'll just sleep here," she said, stroking Luke's light blonde hair.

"What if I crush them while I sleep?" He felt foolish for asking such a childish question, but it was a real concern for him. It had been since he laid eyes on them. Not exactly that he would crush them, but that he could hurt them somehow. They were so tiny, so defenseless and innocent. But Padme laughed quietly. It was not a mocking laugh, it was kind and bubbly; the laugh he knew, the laugh that made him smile every time he heard it.

"I was kind of afraid of that too but I promise you wont." He didn't believe her. She had no idea what he was capable of. Or did she know all too well?  
"Ani," she said gently. His eyes sprang to hers at the use of the name only she would call him. It was the first time she had used it in months. "It's fine. I've done so much to keep you from hurting them, why would I stop now?" She had a point. Slowly, as if he was trying to keep the bed from moving as little as possible, he sank into bed facing her.

"So…what was it like?" he asked after a few moments silence.

"What was what like?"

"When you were pregnant. I was there so little and the few days I was, I was so consumed by my dreams that I didn't get to hear about what you had been doing those past few months. So tell me," he whispered, propping his head up on his hands. She laughed a little and looked at the ceiling, wearing the expression of amused frustration she always got when he asked such questions that required such long answers-which really was quite often.

"Where should I even begin?" she finally asked, putting a tired hand on her forehead.

"At the beginning. What did you do when you first found out? How did you find out, for that matter?"

"Well, you had been gone for about a week and I started feeling really sick. I was so busy at the senate and I was so stressed out I wasn't really paying attention to when my last cycle was. But anyway, I was constantly throwing up. You know how I never get sick, so Dorme forced me to go to the doctor, a human doctor. He took a blood test and told me, assuring complete confidentiality of course." She paused, biting her upper lip. She made no sign that she was going to speak again, though he knew her story was surely far from over.

"Then what," he coached her. She took a deep breath and pulled her hand through her hair. When she finally turned her face towards him, he could see that her eyes were shining with tears.

"Anakin…"

"What's wrong with telling me?" he asked, carefully reaching over the twins to stroke her cheek.

"I don't want you to hate me, to think I'm selfish."

"Impossible." He rubbed his thumb back and forth across her cheek, enjoying being able to touch her again without being pushed away. She sighed, her eyes drooping closed.

"You have to understand how frightened I was. I didn't know what to do. It was such a huge risk. I didn't want it to cost me being a senator, you a Jedi. I couldn't bear the thought of us being exposed like that. The things they would write and say about us. The humiliation. Even if they didn't discover our relationship, I thought that they would certainly find out that I was pregnant. I pictured them calling me a whore, the queen firing me. Then besides my own life-our life, I thought about the babies. How they would be brought into this mess, the secrets and the lies that weren't even their secrets to keep or lies to tell. I thought about having an abortion, I almost did. But then I…" she gave a tiny tick of a cough. Anakin could tell it wasn't to clear her throat; it was to keep from crying. "I thought about if you never came back from you mission and I would have nothing left. Besides all of that, I realized how much I had really wanted children in the past three years of marriage. Before you, I had never thought about children. I knew that it was what was expected of me, to marry and become a mother, but I didn't think of myself as someone who could do that until you came along. In the back of my mind, I always pictured us taking care of a little baby. I loved that picture. So I just sort of figured it out as I went along. I didn't go to the doctor often, it was too risky so I didn't even know I was having twins until I was in labor."

"And no one asked you if you were pregnant?" he asked. Though she did get into the habit of wearing dresses to disguise her pregnancy, Padme was an extremely thin woman who usually wore tight fitting dresses. Her colleagues were bound to notice the sudden change.

"Well, I'm sure people speculated. You should have heard what they said in those awful celebrity HoloNet channels. But everyone presumed I was single, and asking a single woman if she is pregnant is generally considered to be pretty rude," she laughed a little and, catching the infections sound, so did he.

"Obi-Wan knew. I think he suspected me," Anakin said slyly, his hand slipping to her hip.

"Oh yeah? He never said anything to me about that."

"Yeah, well he said to me one day that if he didn't know any better, he would think you were pregnant and if I knew anything about that. Told him it was of no concern to me who you were sleeping with." Padme laughed hard, clapping a hand over her mouth as she remembered the two sleeping babies next to her.

"Let me guess, he didn't buy it."

"He said something to the effect of 'Really, because I was under the impression it was a great concern of yours," he said, mimicking Obi-Wan's clipped accent. She laughed again. It was a bubbly, happy sound that felt warm in Anakin's ears. The warmth spread down from his ears to his heart, then his fingertips then his toes. He smiled as he let her laugh sink in. He had missed it so much.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his voice barely even audible.

"I know," she breathed. Her hand found it's way to the side of his face, but she seemed to barely touch it. It was as if her hand hovered slightly above his skin, almost afraid to come any closer. Then she pulled her hand away, apparently rethinking her previous feelings. His mouth tightened slightly as he watched her movements. All this and still no clear signals? A sign that she was beginning to open up would soon be thrown out, replaced by something colder. He repressed a small, sharp sigh, pressing his teeth together tightly.

"I'm tired," she said, her voice it's normal volume. "Let's get to sleep. We have to wake up early tomorrow."

"I love you," he breathed before he could stop himself. He felt himself nearly blushing. He was so stupid. If she weren't already scared off, this certainly would not help. He tried not to think of how unsuccessful his pledge of love for her was when it was blurted out before their relationship even began on Naboo.

"I…I know," she said quietly, turning her head to smile warmly at him. She put her hand on his shoulder. She was not apprehensive as before. Her hand managed to be strong but still kind almost…loving?

* * *

The sun had just risen. She could tell from the purplish glow that started in the sky and eventually faded to bright orange as it touched the ground. Padme slipped out of bed as quietly as possible so as not to wake the three others in it. Her family. Suddenly, that hollow word she had thought about but never truly understood since she became pregnant now actually meant something. To her, a family meant a mother and a father and their children. This was the first time, truly the first time her little family had fit that bill. As much as she tried to fight it, she couldn't deny the happiness she felt soaring inside of her. She wanted to throw herself into Anakin's arms, to speak with him as she normally would. To smile and laugh and actually be openly married to the man that she loved, which she had never been able to do before.

But it would have to wait. She had to focus on the Republic now. Fix things for the universe first, fix things in her life second. It had always been the way her life worked. At times she honestly enjoyed it. Enjoyed being in control of things that usually would have little effect on her. She was no good at being in relationships-probably why she had really only been in two or three in her whole life. Politics she could do, wonderful, logic driven, argument based politics. They seemed so simple compared to her life with Anakin. He was complicated, their relationship was complicated. While the winner of a small fight depended on who argued the best, the feelings of the one bested could not be predicted or fixed simply by showing them why they were wrong.

She pulled on her silky robe and padded out of her bedroom, bouncing down the stairs with as much relish as she had when she was a young child. It was the only outward joy she would allow herself to express at Anakin's return. Private. No one would see it or know it but her, as seemed to be the norm in her life. In a sudden rush of joy, she sprinted on the wood-floor for a moment and slid into the kitchen, her hands in the air. They immediately flew to the wall to steady her as she nearly fell down in surprise at the sight of her sister sitting at the table, sipping a cup of caf and flipping through a holonovel. Sola looked up, a tiny expression of shock planted on her face for a split second before she burst up, her cup clanging on the table as she pulled her younger sister into a rib-crushing hug.

"I was so worried about you," Sola said into Padme's shoulder.

"I'm okay," Padme said, pulling away from Sola to beam at her. She smiled back just as widely, rubbing Padme's arms.

"But why are you here? Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not complaining but I thought you said it wasn't safe."

"Well, a lot has changed," Padme said, laughing slightly. She loved her sister, could share anything with her. Well, not everything. She didn't tell her about being married to Anakin until the twins were born. But what was there to hide anymore? However, the smile on Sola's face had faded slightly and a look of dull anger and disbelief took its place.

"Padme, your not with him again, are you?" Sola's voice was sharp, dangerous. She was gripping Padme's arms unconsciously while staring hard at her younger sister. Padme's face hardened too. She was not in the mood to be reprimanded by her always-knows-best sister.

"Sola, it's…" Padme trailed off. Despite her anger at Sola, she couldn't find the right words to tell her.

"No," Sola hissed. "No. Don't make excuses for him. He's here, isn't he?" Padme crossed her arms defiantly, looking haughty.

"I don't need to defend getting back together with my husband, the father of my children."

"You do when he abandoned you, almost killed you, became a dictator, the list goes on," Sola spat.

"Sola, he's changed. He killed Palpatine, he wants to restore the republic with my help. But above all, he just wants to know his children. Don't think for a second that I just automatically forgave him, I still have yet to do that."

"Padme, sweetie," Sola said, assuming the gentle and patronizing tone of voice Padme usually associated with explaining something simple to a two year old. "You are so strong, the strongest person I've ever met. You're also so smart and so successful, you have no idea how awful it was to be your older sister by the way." The corners of Sola's mouth twitched slightly, but she continued seriously. "But sometimes you can be a bit naïve. You are such a good and honest person that you expect those same qualities in everyone else. Some people, like Anakin, are just evil and manipulative. He's trying to use you."

"Sola-"

"Don't interrupt me," she said sharply, raising her finger as if she were yelling at one of her daughters. Padme's cheeks turned pink despite herself, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed to be spoken to so sharply by her own sister, who was only older than her by a few years. "You never really had a serious relationship before Anakin. Sometimes I wonder if-"

"Do not," Padme said, her cheeks turning red this time from anger. Now it was Sola's turn to look embarrassed. "Ever question what Anakin and I have. Do not chalk my love for him up to my naïveté or puppy love. Our feelings for each other run extremely deep for reasons I do not feel obligated to explain to you. Darth Vader was not the person I fell in love with. Anakin is. I know him better than anyone else in the universe, so I know that he is being genuine when he says he has renounced everything that ever was Darth Vader."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Sola said. Her voice was still strong but nearing to an almost apologetic tone. "Any of you. Those two kids, they're so sweet and they've been through enough because of him. They'll always have to deal with Vader now even if he's gone. Wouldn't it be better for them if he just…just went away?"

"Do you honestly think they'd be better off without their father?" Padme asked flatly. "Having all these questions about him no one wants to answer for fear they'll know too much? That they'll become him? No. I would never put that on them. Besides, you should see him with them, Sola." She started smiling despite herself. "He's such a great dad."

"I'm…I'm glad you seem happy," Sola said slowly. Padme knew she was choosing her words extremely carefully.

"I can honestly say that I hope it works out."

"Hey, Padme," Anakin's disembodied voice called into the kitchen. Both women jumped slightly, and Padme couldn't help but wonder how much he had heard. He stuck his head into the room, visibly unnerved at seeing Sola. "Oh…hi Sola. Padme, Luke and Leia are awake and I think they're hungry so…"

"Okay, I'll be right there," Padme said. She glanced at Sola, her eyebrows raised and eyes slightly narrow. She knew that her sister would recognize it as their mother's _be nice_ look. As she left the room she brushed past Anakin slightly, smiling at him. Anakin turned to follow her closely. A voice came calling after him, stopping him in his tracks.

"Oh Anakin," Sola called coolly. _Sith_. The last thing he needed was a long conversation with Padme's blunt and quick to judge sister. He forced the politician's smile he had learned so well from Sidious and spun around to see Sola sitting at the table with her arms crossed, a glare rivaling Padme's on her face.

"Hi Sola, I didn't expect to see you here," he said cheerfully, walking towards the table.

"Sit down," she said icily. His forced smile faltered a little and he sank into the chair across from her, tapping his fingers nervously on the table. She looked at him for a long minute before speaking.

"Anakin, I don't know what you're looking for here. Maybe you think the whole family man appearance is good for your image, maybe you want to take the kids and train them, form some sort of monarchy. I can only imagine the things you would like to do with my sister," she looked at him as though he was something disgusting she found stuck to the bottom of her shoe. "But I can't prove any of that, and I can't get Padme to listen. I swear to you though," she said, venom dripping from every word. "If you go through with whatever sick little plan you have and if you hurt her, I will kill you. I don't care if you're some incredible Sith lord or the ruler of the whole damn universe, I will hunt you down and make you pay." Though he was what many considered to be the strongest Jedi or Sith in the galaxy, he didn't doubt for a second that she would follow through with her promise.

"Can I say something now?" Anakin asked, his tone almost bored. "I love Padme. I love her more than anything else, except for my children whom I adore. I understand where your suspicions come from, but rest assured they are unfounded. If I thought that Padme would be happier without me, I would be gone. It would kill me, but I would do it for her. I think we can both agree that she's been through quite enough because of me. But she was miserable when I was gone. I think you know that, too. I know you don't like me and that's fine, but we both want her to be happy."

"She was miserable because you broke her heart, don't pretend that it was anything else," Sola hissed. Before Anakin could retort, Padme sauntered into the kitchen, a crying and squirming Luke wailing into her shoulder.

"He's really fussy, will you take him?" she asked Anakin.

"Love to," he said, looking pointedly at Sola before taking Luke.

"So, are you to having a nice talk?" Padme asked as she sat in the chair Anakin had vacated as he took Luke

"The best," Anakin said, raising his eyebrows at Sola.

"How long are you going to be here?" Sola aimed the question at Padme, ignoring Anakin.

"Only a few more hours I think," Padme said, sending a guilty glance to Anakin. "I think we need to get going. We're leaving Luke and Leia here for a few days."

"Where is Leia?" Anakin asked, realizing no one had really addressed that.

"She was still sleepy so I put her back in the crib. There's no reason for her to wake up now and be cranky for my parents." Luke had stopped crying and was now giggling as he tried to snatch a tiny ball Anakin was dangling in the air with the force. He glanced up at Sola and noticed her trying to hide a slight smile that immediately faded to a scowl when she noticed him watching her.

* * *

A few painfully awkward and stoic hours later, Anakin and Padme started back to the palace. They had sat in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say to the other. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Padme shivering slightly, rubbing her bare arms.

"Are you cold?" He asked, his voice coming out hoarse from disuse.

"A little."

"Here," he said, reaching into the backseat and handing her the ball of fabric that was his black cloak. She accepted it gratefully and pulled it on. Anakin couldn't help but smile as he saw how it fit her. It completely immersed her; the sleeves went well past her hands. Three of her could have fit and still be comfortable.

"What?" she asked as he laughed.

"You just look really cute," he said, winking at her as he said cute. She hated that word.

"Senators do not look cute, Anakin Skywalker," she said in a mockingly superior tone.

"Excuse me, milady. I would just die if I thought a Senator took offense to something I said." He briefly took his eyes off the road to smile cheekily at her. She patted the side of his face, "You keep that in mind." He grabbed her hand and kissed it, tightening his grip as she tried to pull away.

"Anakin," she laughed, attempting to pry her hand away. "Let go and pay attention to where you're going."

"Come on, surely a senator has a better argument than that," he teased, not pretending to watch the road anymore. He wasn't concerned; if they were in danger he would feel it.

"Let go or I'll make absolute certain that Obi-Wan finds out how good your imitation of him has gotten." He gasped in mock horror, finally relinquishing her hand. "Cold blooded."

"I have my moments," she said proudly, crossing her arms.

* * *

It was one of those silences she had grown so used to. It must come from being a Jedi, for she was all too familiar from her time with Anakin and more recently with Obi-Wan. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, not at all. They knew each other far too well for the silence to be awkward. She glanced at Anakin as they neared Coruscant's Imperial Landing Dock; his eyes squinted in concentration. He felt her gaze and glanced down at her, his lips immediately curling into a smile.

"We should be there in a few minutes," he said. She knew he only stated the obvious so that he would have something to do besides kiss her; something neither of them were that enthusiastic about with Obi-Wan present.

"Good. The sooner we get there and sort this out, the sooner we get to go home and see the twins. I miss them already," Padme said, sighing slightly. Anakin gave her a sympathetic smile and his hand moved off of the controls to cover hers.

"We'll be there soon," he repeated, giving her hand a little squeeze.

"What exactly are your plans for when we reach Coruscant?" Obi-Wan asked. Padme smiled inwardly. Obi-Wan was unsuccessful at hiding the worry in his voice, a note that was always present when following one of his former-padawan's plans.

"Well, I'm operating under the assumption that everyone still thinks I'm in charge and completely in favor of the Empire. If not, things will get a little more…creative on our part." She and Obi-Wan exchanged a nervous look; he sounded far from confident and she had little time for one of Anakin's do-before-you-think plans.

"Wonderful. Really, just great. Sounds like we have a good, solid strategy," Obi-Wan said sarcastically. Anakin ignored him, instead focusing on landing the large ship. A few minutes earlier, they had received a hail from the landing doc instructing them where to go. The man on the comlink sounded terrified when he realized it was Vader; which to Padme's surprise made her actually feel a little better. At least someone was still afraid of him.

The confidence was nearly completely erased when they lowered into the huge, gray landing doc. Stormtroopers had already lined up in ranks to greet him, their commanding officers standing as still as statues in front of the tidy crowd. She swallowed hard. They were fools. All of these people and more were willing to die for the Empire, how could they, three people, ever restore the Republic?

Her jaw tightened as she noticed the landing pad displayed the large circular Imperial insignia. It made her skin crawl. Was it a mistake to go back with Anakin? He had created that cog-like symbol and represented all that it stood for. All of the innocent lives and liberties lost. The Jedi deaths alone had set the galaxy back decades-if not centuries. He embodied everything she had spent her whole life trying to fight against. And yet she loved him. She loved him for the man she remembered him as, the man she fell in love with. The man who cared nothing about her power or influence, but cared about who she truly was. This man could make her laugh, infuriate her and intrigue her all at once. She had never met anyone so complicated, or someone who cared so much about her. But was he still truly that man? Had he really transformed completely from Darth Vader to Anakin Skywalker? She shook the thought out of her head as Anakin stood up to leave, holding his hand out for her to grasp. She did so and followed closely next to him, nearly tripping down the suddenly steep ramp.

Anakin grabbed her upper arm to steady her. She straightened up, regaining her balance after the small ungraceful moment, but his grip remained. He was holding her arm with his mechanical hand, not the flesh one he usually touched her with. It seemed to tighten even more as they reached solid ground. She tried to side step away from him, suddenly extremely uncomfortable with how he was holding her arm. Did he even realize he was doing it? His vice-like grip remained, constricting more as she moved away.

"Anakin, you're hurting me," she said, trying to squirm away. He glared at her and made a funny movement with his free hand. It was almost like a wave. Before Padme could react, the Stormtroopers closed in on them. Anakin reached behind her and grabbed her other arm, pinning both to her sides so she couldn't move. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Obi-Wan with his hands up, blasters in his back and pointed at his face.

"No," she choked, attempting to look at Anakin though he was standing right behind her.

"Darth Vader," a cool female voice said. Padme looked around for the source, her legs nearly giving out when she saw her. Standing not three feet away from her was the towering, sickly pale and hairless form of Asajj Ventress. She felt tears sting her eyes. It had all been a trap, a dramatic ruse to lure her and Obi-Wan back to Coruscant to be killed.

"What's this?" she asked, a long fingered hand resting on Padme's chin. "A pretty little senator whore come crying back? Where is your child, Senator?" To Padme's surprise, she felt the tears that had yet to fall melt away at Ventress's words. She was strong, she had to be. She wasn't about to give Ventress the sick glee in seeing her cry. Instead she glared at her, anger bubbling over as the vile woman spoke of her children-well, child. She was slightly relieved that Ventress was unaware of the twins, though she knew Anakin would soon remedy that ignorance. Unable to control herself, Padme did something she had never done before. She spit in her face, enjoying the disgust in the Sith's face. The satisfaction was short lived as it earned her a hard blow to the stomach. Her legs gave out under her as she doubled over, Anakin the only thing keeping her off the ground. She saw Ventress's knee speeding toward her face and clenched her eyes shut, bracing herself for the nose-breaking blow. But it didn't come.

"Ventress," Anakin said sharply, releasing one of Padme's arms. She opened her eyes slightly to see that Asajj was on the ground, apparently pushed by what she assumed was the Force from Anakin's outstretched hand.

"She is mine," he hissed, his tight grip on her arm returning to pull her up. "She's no use to me damaged, at least not for what I intend to do with her." Ventress laughed coldly as Padme's lungs felt constricted as she thought of what he would do to her, what he had just implied. Her breath was coming in shudders, but she was not crying. She had not spent her whole life protecting herself and those she loved with an even head only to cry when it all ended. She stood straighter, her face twisted into a scowl.

"I tricked them into thinking I had reformed, that I was no longer Darth Vader and wanted to restore the republic," he laughed. She found this sentiment particularly hilarious as well, her laughter making Padme feel ill. "Kenobi is nothing to me. Take him into holding cell A. Though I have little use for him, I have a few questions. Do nothing with him until I speak with him, then dispose of him as you wish," he said dismissively, roughly pulling Padme with him as he began to walk to the nearest turbo-lift, giving no one a second glance.


	5. Chapter 5

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."-Ambrose Redmoon

* * *

As soon as the lift doors slid shut, Anakin loosened his grip on Padme.

"I'm so-" he started, before he was interrupted by Padme's tiny fist smacking into his nose.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, clutching the bridge of his nose through streaming eyes. But she didn't care; she was too busy hitting every inch of him.

"Padme, hey, hey," he said, grabbing her hands to try to calm her. This just seemed to make her angrier, and she replaced her fists with her feet.

"Damn it," he yelled as she kicked his shin so hard it actually made his head hurt. Having enough of this, he grabbed her and forcibly turned her around in what was something like a hug, effectively pinning her arms to her sides.

"Padme, it's okay. I had to make Ventress think everything was business as usual."

"Do you honestly think I am an idiot?" she snapped, prying herself away from him and whipping around to face him. "Of course I know that. Incase you've forgotten, this is hardly the first life threatening situation I've been in, or were the other ones just pretend? Oh gee, I guess I should call Corde and all the other people who have died because of their unfortunate acquaintance with me and tell them they can go ahead and stop being dead."

"When did I saw that?" Anakin replied angrily, his temper flaring.

"What I'm trying to figure out is why the hell you couldn't give me a little notice before you pull the Lord Vader act."

"I'm sorry, okay. I panicked, I didn't think of that. Ventress wasn't supposed to be here."

"Oh wow, Anakin Skywalker hasn't completely thought out a life or death situation, huge surprise," she said sarcastically, waving her arms comically. He could have hit her.

"Dare I ask what your plan is now?"

"If you would shut up for a minute then maybe I could come up with something," he hissed.

"Fine."

"Press 42."

"Excuse me?"

"Will you please press 42 so we can get to my apartment?" Padme pushed the button sharply and crossed her arms, electing to look at the blank door rather than at him. Anakin tried not to roll his eyes, as was becoming a reflex during conversations like that which they were just in. The lift finally slid to a halt and the doors slid open, revealing a dark apartment.

"Ladies first," Anakin said after Padme took the liberty of storming in ahead of him.

"Oh," Padme peeped as the lights activated at her movements. It was incredibly bare, with just the basic necessities. A stiff couch sat in the middle of the room Padme assumed was the living room. Holobooks and datapads were spread across the small metal table in front of it and strewn haphazardly on the floor.

But a small glimmering object caught her attention. A little silvery thing was lying in front of the door to his bedroom.

"What's this?" she asked, bending down to pick it up. Upon further inspection it seemed to be earrings. But what would a single Sith lord need with earrings? They were large, flashy dangly ones that weren't Padme's taste. _Can't picture Anakin wearing these either_, she thought sarcastically.

"What's what?" he asked dimly as he attempted to tidy up the holobooks lying around the couch.

"These earrings," Padme said coolly, holding them up to his pale face. "They don't strike me as your style."

"Padme I know this looks bad," he said almost pleadingly. "I didn't do anything with her. Some whore, I don't know…I swear nothing happened."

"Women don't generally take their earrings off first."

"Who said her earrings went off first?" Anakin said smoothly, the ghost of a smile brushing across his face. "Padme, come on. I've always been the jealous one." Padme gave a long sigh and placed the earring on the table.

"I don't want to deal with this right now. Let's just plan what we're going to do."

"Let me see," Anakin said, picking up his datapad and frowning at what Padme gathered was his schedule. "Tomorrow I have to oversee the construction of the Death Star with Ventress." Death Star? What could that be, another horrifying Imperial weapon to quiet enemies?

"What's the Death Star?" She asked. Anakin avoided eye contact with her, because how could he explain it? She would see it as something to be destroyed once the Republic was restored, so that power wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. But it couldn't be destroyed; it just couldn't. It was still in the early stages, sure, but once it was completed it would be extraordinary. An extraordinary weapon that he didn't expect someone who had never experienced a war to understand. It would be powerful enough to end _all _the wars once they started. And she wouldn't see that because she just couldn't, and maybe it would come back to bite him in the ass, but it didn't matter now.

"It's just a star destroyer we're building. A few new features we're installing." It was almost true.

"Oh. That's an interesting name for 'just a star destroyer,'" she said skeptically.

"I thought the same thing, but Tarkin came up with it so go figure." That was technically true too.

Padme knew he was lying, knew that whenever Anakin lied he didn't look at her, or would try too hard to look and would blink too much. But she didn't tell him any of this, because right now it didn't matter and it might not ever. So she nodded, and looked at him, and tried not to blink too much, because in a way she was lying too.

"So, anyway, she's scheduled to be there around a half-hour before I'm to meet with her. I'll free Obi-Wan and bring him here. Then I'll kill Ventress."

"And I'm to just sit here?"

"Yes, actually."

"Anakin that's-" But he held up a hand to stop her, apparently concentrating very hard on something invisible just above her head.

"Anakin?" His eyes suddenly snapped back to hers.

"Someone's coming." His uncharacteristically panic-stricken voice made her frightened. She didn't have time to think about it, though, as Anakin grabbed her arm and roughly pulled her into a room.

He knocked twice on a panel in the wall and it slid open to reveal a compartment just big enough for one person.

"Stay here."

"Anakin what…" she was cut off by the unmistakable sound of blaster fire from the room she was just pulled out of. She looked at Anakin and he looked at her, and the last thing she saw before being plunged into darkness was his sad blue eyes.

She couldn't see anything, but she could hear. This wasn't much of a comfort, as what she heard she wished she hadn't. A lightsaber whirred. Blaster fire boomed. Then a woman's shriek, so shrill and menacing it just had to be Ventress, followed by a thud and a man's groan, and a voice that made Padme's blood boil.

"Vader. You didn't actually think that after your pesky little murder of the Emperor I would just accept your allegiance," Ventress hissed.

"Are you out of your mind?" Anakin asked, Padme's heart fluttering at how weak he sounded. "I am the Emperor! When the 501st hears about this-"

"Rulers are easily overthrown, as you recently demonstrated. You know, I don't even care if you do still support our ideals. You let your guard down, you get killed, that's just the way it goes. You should have known better." A thud and another groan, this time more pained.

"Keep it up and I'll kill you right here," she said. "Poor little Luke an Leia would grow up orphaned. We wouldn't want that now, would we?" Padme clenched her teeth.

"Put the binders on him. Careful, you've seen what he can do. You, search the apartment. Bring me the woman, alive." Blast. Anakin was being taken to Force knows where, Obi-Wan was likely dead or at least indisposed for the time being, and now she was trapped all alone in an apartment with a stormtrooper after her. More specifically, she was completely trapped in a tiny compartment she had no idea how to get out of with a stormtrooper looking for her. But she did have a small blaster. She tried to tap quietly on the door as Anakin had, but no luck.

After punching around aimlessly, the door finally slid open silently to reveal a stormtrooper. Luckily, his back was to her and he apparently didn't hear her attempts to get out or the whoosh of the door-wall panel, she supposed-opening.

"Don't move," she said, trying to keep her voice and hand steady as she pointed her blaster at his back. "I-I have a blaster. Drop yours." He made to drop it, even dipped slightly, but then spun around. Without realizing what was happening, she shot him twice though she didn't remember pulling the trigger even once. Burns showed up on his leg and hand so his weapon went flying. He fell hard with a yell, his helmeted head smacking against the bedpost on the way to the ground. It was the first time she realized she was in Anakin's bedroom. But there was no time to take in how small the bed was or gray the walls were. She had to focus on finding where Anakin was.

"Okay," she said calmly, trying to sound tougher than a senator was trained to be. "If you move even an inch, I'll shoot. But now, let's talk." She sat on his chest to ensure that he couldn't move, pinning his arms down with her legs, blaster pointed in his face.

"Where is she taking him?" He didn't say anything. He was so quiet, and it was so hard to tell if he was breathing normally with his helmet on, that for a minute she thought he was unconscious. He finally just shook his head.

"Take your helmet off," she said coolly, freeing his arms but keeping her blaster steady at his face. He didn't move.

"I said take it off," she yelled, pointing the blaster at his crotch. "Or I'll shoot somewhere else." She smiled as he sprang to take off his helmet, tossing it aside. He looked like all the other clones she had ever seen. Unlike the others' calm and collected emotionless faces, he looked terrified. He must be new, because she had never seen any of them look anything but tough. He put up no fight, despite remaining silent. Yes, he was definitely new. In truth, he could easily overpower her if he could grab the blaster, but he didn't even try. Even though at this point he was actually shaking with fear, he kept his mouth shut. Anger, such that she had never felt before, bubbled up inside of her. Because shooting him was mostly an empty threat-she needed him, after all-she instead hit him as hard as she could with the butt of her blaster. It clanged against his skull with a sickening smack and left a bloody mark, the makings of a severe bruise.

"Answer me!" She yelled.

"I don't know!" he finally yelled back

"Like hell you don't know." She hit him again, unable to stop herself, and this time the blaster's descent crunched his nose. He yelled in pain, clutching at his now shattered nose.

"Please stop hitting me," he said weakly. "I don't know."

"You lie!" she yelled, hitting him in the face one last time. His eyes slid shut, finally succumbing to unconsciousness.

"Damn it," she said. Just to make sure she hadn't inadvertently killed him, though how she could have possibly done that was a complete mystery to her, she felt at his neck for a pulse, which beat weakly against her fingertips. So now what? She had no idea where Obi-Wan was, let alone how she was going to free him.

In any case, Ventress would soon probably start to wonder where the fainting stormtrooper was, and would send more. She had to leave, but first she had to somehow figure out where Obi-Wan was. She pulled off the stormtrooper's utility belt and fastened it around her own hips, grabbing his heavy discarded weapon and clipping it to the belt. From what she could tell, the belt had a cable, a bomb, a gas bomb, and a coded thermal detonator. The password locked detonator wouldn't be much help, but the bombs might. What she needed was a holomap, one that would at least show her where she was on Coruscant so she could get her bearings.

A thought suddenly struck her. Surely Anakin, being in charge of all of this, would have to have a map somewhere. She sprang up and glanced around the room. In the bedside table, maybe. She pulled the drawer open and rifled through the contents: a holonovel, a comlink, and an aquata breather. She pocketed the breathing device in the air of always staying a step ahead of whatever could come. What about the holobooks in the living room? She had momentarily forgotten about them, but surely one would have some kind of map on it, especially if she could find the datapad he was looking at earlier.

She practically sprinted into the living room, screambling through the contents of each holobook until she came across Anakin's discarded datapad. She skimmed through its contents until she found a series of maps-one being the schematics of the building. Surprisingly, this building was apparently built a few months before for what appeared to be the convenience of the Empire's top officials. The apartment building was connected to a garage and landing dock, she knew that already, but also a detention center and some offices. The detention center was labeled and she could see exactly where Obi-Wan's cell was. It didn't say how much security there was, or what kind. She couldn't worry about it, though; she didn't have a choice. Anakin could be dead by now anyway, but she couldn't give up. So, without really stopping to think of what she was going to do next, she set off towards the detention center, grabbing one of Anakin's old Jedi robes lying on the floor so she could hide the utility belt and blasters. But something on the ground stopped her. Without looking, she kicked something hard against the wall before she reached the door. It was Anakin's lightsaber, he must have dropped it and no one noticed or bothered to pick it up. She clipped it to her belt. He would need it later. He would.

* * *

It wasn't a long way to the detention center, which was essentially a block of floors in the Imperial office building, no doubt reserved for important political prisoners. Not a second after the large doors slid open did Padme lose her nerve. Five Imperial officers sat behind a control panel, two stormtroopers guarding the entrance to the holding cell.

"Ma'am, may I help you?" one of the officers asked. Padme straightened up and tried to walk confidently, attempting to channel her posture as a Queen.

"Yes. Emperor Vader sent me to interrogate the prisoner in holding cell A," she said coolly, the nervousness she felt far away from her voice or face, as many years as a politician had trained her. But the officer quirked an eyebrow, "And what is your clearance code?" Padme's hand slipped discretely under her cape, fingertips meeting he cool surface of the gas bomb in her belt.

"My clearance?" she said angrily. "Lord Vader sent me on an extremely time sensitive mission, he could not find the time, nor did he think it was necessary to give me a code clearance. He's an extremely important man, as I'm sure you can't relate to. Give me your name so I can tell Lord Vader who to blame for this delay." All of the officers simply stared at her, making her hard look soften a little. What mistake had she made?

"Ma'am, Lord Vader himself is in holding cell B." Padme blinked.

"Oh. Well," she struggled not to stumble over her words. "I can see how you would find that strange." Without skipping a beat, she threw the bomb and held her breath until she could bite the aquata breather, safely inhaling the clean air. She had been a little worried about how long it would take the poison to go into effect, if she would have to rely on her blaster instead for the officers. But they started choking and gagging almost immediately. The stormtroopers, on the other hand, whose helmets protected them, were just as immediate with their fire. The bomb provided enough of a haze to completely hide her, but in doing so prevented her from getting a lock on them. However, their aimless blaster fire was enough to point out their positions, and all it took were a few well-aimed shots to stop the opposing fire.

The smoke had cleared enough for her to just make out the door activator. She punched it and the door slid open. Easy. No, that was actually quite easy, should she be more suspicious? She didn't really have a choice, even If it was a trap. Cell B was, predictably, the first door on the left with A across from it. The guard said he was in cell B. She couldn't get over to it fast enough, feeling extremely lucky when she found that it was not password protected.

"Padme," Anakin gasped the second he saw her, pulling her into a suffocating hug. She bit back her tears of relief, not wanting him to see that she had forgiven him.

"Have to free Obi-Wan," she mumbled, stumbling over to cell A.

"Padme." Anakin said insistently.

"Thank the Force, Padme. When I heard Anakin being pulled into a cell I was sure it was over," Obi-Wan said.

"Padme!" Anakin yelled. She had missed the urgency, the devastation in his voice before. She hadn't noticed his red eyes or hair that looked like a birds nest, telltale signs of Anakin's nervous habit of running his hands through his hair.

"What?" she asked sharply, though she didn't mean it to sound that way. He was just worrying her so much.

"She's going to get Luke and Leia. She-she knows you have family on Naboo, found on the ship's log that we had just been there…put two and two together," he choked, gently putting his hands on her shoulders.

But she hadn't heard him correctly. No, she definitely hadn't. Because he couldn't have just told her that her children were in very real danger. It couldn't be happening, she wouldn't let it happen. It just wasn't possible. Despite this denial, she felt dizzy, felt her knees actually give out, like what happened to people on holofilms when they got some tragic news. Except the tragic news they received was fake and entertaining, not real like this. She felt Anakin brush tears that she didn't remember shedding off her face, and he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head and just held her there. That was the only place she wanted to be, the only place that mattered. When she was there, she didn't have to feel guilty for bringing her children into danger. She failed them.

She could hear the rumblings of someone talking, but it sounded like a memory years behind her. Someone was trying to move her along; a hand she assumed was Anakin's pressed into her back. It wasn't a commanding hand, more like a suggestion. She followed it towards the door.

"_The door,"_ she thought dimly.

"Stop," she said quietly. "The uh…it's a poisonous gas bomb. That's how I got in."

"Padme," Anakin said quietly, as if only she was supposed to hear. "Hey." He put his hand on her chin and pushed it up so she had to look at him. "I know how bad this looks. But it's not over. You can't give up on them, because if you do, how am I going to go on?" She blinked and rubbed her eyes. Finally she nodded.

"When did she leave?"

"Probably a half-hour ago," Anakin said glumly. "Maybe less."

"Well, it's two hours to Naboo," Obi-Wan said. "If we can find a fast ship, we might have a chance."

"We could maybe steal some TIE fighters, but I don't know what Padme will do."

"I might have an idea. But shouldn't we go somewhere else to talk?" she asked. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck, "We don't have much time."

Padme grimaced, "You're right. Okay, you two go. I'm going to call my parents and tell them to go to the palace, the Queen should protect them. At least for a while. Where are the senatorial apartments?"

"A few blocks down, I had a map in my datapad in my apartment but-"

"I have it. Does it list names and apartment numbers?"

"Sure. But who-"

"Bail Organa. You remember the loyalist committee you were so against? I think they'll be sympathetic to what we're trying to do. Plus Bail is a friend and I think he'll be able to help."

"Wait, how are we going to fight Ventress without lightsabers?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Oh, Anakin I have yours," she said.

"Yours and the rest of our stuff should be in password-locked cabinets in the desk out there," he said, clipping his lightsaber to his belt.

"Careful when you go out there," she reminded them quietly.

"I love you," Anakin said, kissing her. She felt the soreness behind her eyes again.

"I love you too. Bring them back."

* * *

Hey there, I'm sorry this chapter took soo long and is so short. The next one will be better, but I hope this wasn't too bad. Thanks for reading! I promise I'll update a lot sooner.-B


	6. Chapter 6

"She knows that he has failings, but she thinkgs they have grown up through his being like one cast away, for the want of something to trust in, and care for, and think well of." Taken from Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens.

* * *

"Anakin, I'm sorry to say it but I fail to see where this is going." Obi-Wan's voice boomed over the comlink in Anakin's stolen TIE Fighter. Anakin sighed, his friend voicing exactly what he had been thinking.

"She's likely to invade the palace, probably take over."

"Okay, so we're going to the palace?"

"I suppose," Anakin said. Though his voice was quiet, it wasn't able to mask the sharpness.

"Well don't get angry with me, I just thought I should ask." Anakin didn't offer a response. He didn't feel like it. He had hardly slept for two days, been beat up-albeit weakly—by Padme and then by Ventress, been hit with Force lighting and was trying not to panic about the situation his children were in. He was hardly in the mood to argue with Obi-Wan.

"I don't like flying this thing," Obi-Wan said after a few minutes' silence.

"You don't like flying anything."

"I enjoy flying some things," Obi-Wan said defensively.

"Really?" Anakin laughed. "Name one ship you've enjoyed flying." Obi-Wan was quiet for a few seconds, before he finally said, "Oh! The Queen's starship. I liked that one."

"Yeah but you didn't fly that one."

"How do you know? You were ten."

"So? I'm aware of who can fly and who cannot fly the queen's royal starship. I'm married to that queen for god's sake." They were both quiet then. Neither was sure if the other realized it, but it was the first time Anakin had acknowledged-actually come out and said to Obi-Wan that he was married. But Anakin felt good. Even though obviously Obi-Wan knew about his relationship to Padme, had for a few months, it was different to say it aloud. It was different to tell his best friend that he was married, especially after years of not telling it.

"Yes, you are," Obi-Wan finally said quietly.

"When I married her, I never thought it would go on that long."

"You're marriage?"

"No, of course not. I never thought the lies would go on that long. I don't know exactly what I thought would happen, but it wasn't that I would lie to everyone for years."

"That's what Padme said. I understand. But I admit, in some ways I already knew, but I didn't want to admit to myself that it was true."

"What do you mean?" Anakin asked. He could hear Obi-Wan chuckling over the comlink, and gave the speaker a puzzled look.

"Anakin, what do you think I thought you were doing all that time you spent with her on Naboo? Meditating?"

"Actually I thought that was a good excuse."

"Well, you thought wrong, especially after I flew over Varykino and saw the two of you in sleep clothes kissing on the balcony."

"Shit, you saw that?"

"You could have been more discreet. I told myself that you two were just friends seeking comfort in each other, an innocent fling. I didn't know how to feel when she was obviously pregnant."

"So what happened after…"

"After you became a Sith?" Obi-Wan asked. Anakin didn't say anything, and was quiet enough to faintly hear Obi-Wan's small sigh. "Padme was in bad shape. She was devastated, hardly wanted to live. I was supposed to fight you, but I just couldn't. I couldn't kill my best friend, and I knew Padme needed me then. So, as you saw, I took her and left. But why didn't you try to fight me?"

"I don't really know. I didn't want to. I think at the time, I thought it was the only way Padme would survive, and by extension what I thought was just my son. I wanted to, when he was older, train him as a Sith."

"We assumed as much."

"Anyway, what after that?"

"As I said, she was devastated. We met with Bail Organa and had time to go to Naboo where the doctors there treated her and she gave birth. Suddenly, her condition was better. It was inexplicable."

"How so?"

"The doctors said that she might die, that she had lost the will to live. But a little after the twins were born and her parents came to visit, she was fine. Her sister talked to her for a while, I don't know what she said. Then, she seemed to be better. At least, she wasn't dying. So we decided to go to Tatooine, she remembered where your half-brother lived." Anakin didn't have a response. She could have died? He didn't know that. If things had gone just a little differently, what would have happened? Would she have indeed died, or would he have killed Obi-Wan in a duel? The silence was getting awkward, far too drawn out.

"You're right, flying in this thing is creeping me out," he said lightly.

"We could have taken what we came in on."

"No we couldn't have, I don't want to draw attention to myself. I'm not sure who still takes my position seriously. Ventress probably messed with it anyway."

"What do you think will happen when we get there?"

"Well, I called the leader of the 501st and told him to bring the troops and meet me there. I'm half expecting Ventress to have her own unit ready too."

"You gave her a unit?"

"It was a bad idea, I tried to tell Sidious that, but since she was our best assassin he felt she needed one."

"So we're going to meet the whole 501st? Isn't that a little conspicuous?" Obi-Wan asked skeptically.

"Not all of them, just a group of commandos. They'll be discrete," Anakin assured him. "They'll be guarding the palace while we go to Padme's parents."

"So now we're going to Padme's house?"

"Master," Anakin said quietly, trying to calm himself a little before he had to speak again. It really was quite stressful to be in charge of coming up with a plan. For the first time, he actually missed being a padawan.

"I'm sorry, I just think that we should figure out what we're doing before we land. Let's get this straight, so you think that Ventress is going after your kids."

"Yes," Anakin said sharply.

"But you also think that she'll try to invade the palace."

"Yes, haven't you been listening?" Anakin gave up trying to be calm with his former master. He really was being quite dense.

"Okay, calm down. I'm just making sure. So, how about I go to the palace and you go to Padme's parents? We'll figure it out from there."

* * *

Anakin stopped. Stopped everything: thinking, feeling, walking. Someone was watching him, but the feeling he was getting from whoever took interest in him was not malevolent, as always oozed off

of Ventress whenever she saw him. It was indifferent. Curious, maybe. Whatever it was, it was not Ventress, and that was all that mattered. He pulled his cloak tighter around him as he approached

the Naberrie's house. It was dark, the only light coming from a small moon hovering high above the planet. He tried to scan for anyone around him—perhaps the person who was watching him. But

he couldn't see anything and didn't sense anything threatening, so he turned to the door. As he reached his hand up to open it he heard a lightsaber whirring to life behind him.

"Don't move." The voice sounded familiar…but who? It wasn't Ventress', but belonged to a female. He turned slowly to face whoever had their lightsaber to his neck, raising his hands. While he

couldn't see who was threatening him, her lightsaber was a friendly green. Anakin didn't know if that was good or bad news for him. A Sith or dark Jedi might be better—at least they would agree with

him. A Jedi Knight would want to, and be capable of, killing him.

"Who are you?" He asked quietly.

"I'll be asking the questions," the voice was so familiar! It sounded like a friend, an old friend, but he couldn't remember who he had been friends with who had a voice like that and a lightsaber that

color. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to keep Ventress from killing anymore innocent people. Are you Aayla?"

"Please, you made sure she was dead. I'm honestly a little hurt that you can't figure out who I am. I always held you in such high esteem, _Sky Guy." _Her lightsaber slid closer to her face, the green light revealing the familiar orange face and blue eyes he had known so well.

"Ahsoka!" Anakin gasped, his hands lowering in surprise. "But…how? You left."

"Why should I tell you, Vader?"

"Ahsoka, I know you're angry with me, but get in line. We can discuss this later, but I really need to get in this house. For Padme, you like her, right?" Ahsoka's face fell for a split second before

hardening, her frown turning to a scowl.

"She's dead, along with anyone who was friends with you. Anything you're doing for her or her family or whatever the hell you're saying is useless to me, because I'm sure you're lying."

"Ahsoka please. You know that if I wanted to I could kill you, but I haven't even reached for my lightsaber. I don't want to kill you."

"Could be a trick," she said slowly, but her voice was less suspicious.

"You're smarter than that. Think, Ahsoka. If I were still Darth Vader, still Empire of the universe or whatever, why would I go to this random house on Naboo just to kill all the inhabitants, and why

would I not have stormtroopers with me, and why would I not try to kill you? I'm done with that." She didn't say anything. He bit his lip, trying not to yell at her. He had to get inside, had to see that

Luke and Leia were okay.

"Ahsoka," he was surprised to hear his voice crack. "I have to make sure my kids are okay. I don't really care how you feel about me right now, but if I have to wait any longer for you to make up

your mind, I cannot be held accountable for what I might do."

"Your…your kids?"

"I'll explain later." Her lightsaber swooshed back into the metal base as Anakin turned to open the door.

He put his hand on his lightsaber as he stepped into the room. The lights flicked on automatically, startling him slightly. He reached out with the force to see if any signatures pinged back at him. They

did. It was definitely his in-laws and children, and they were definitely in no distress. Odd. It would have been a perfect trap for Ventress to set. But there was something else that was odd. He turned

to his orange companion and looked at her directly in the eyes for the first time that night.

"Ahsoka," he said suspiciously, blue eyes boring into blue as the reality finally dawned on him. "What were you doing here?" She smiled at him, unable to hide her hand slipping down to one of her

lightsabers.

* * *

Padme held her breath as the door slid open. Bail looked tired, to say the least. His eyes were bloodshot and framed with dark circles. His hair was messy and stuck up at odd places. She hadn't ever seen him like this. But his tired eyes widened when he saw her, "Padme?"

"Hello Bail."

"Come in," he said, practically pulling her into his apartment. "Sit, sit." He gestured to the ornate green couch.

"I'll admit, milady, I never thought I would see you again," he said as he sat next to her.

"I know. I thought the same thing but…" she sighed, thinking hard of how to explain it. "Well, Anakin found us."

"What?"

"I know, but it's not like that. He doesn't want the Empire to exist anymore, he wants to restore the Republic-"

"And you believe him?" Bail asked. She stared at him for a moment, unable to read his tone or his face. It could have been angry, or it could have just been a simple question. She wasn't sure.

"Yes," she said flatly. "He's sincere." Bail raised his eyebrows, "How can you be sure?"

"Because I know him. I know when he's lying, but more importantly I know when he's telling the truth. Bail, just trust me."

"You know I do. But you can't blame me for being skeptical. We all thought Anakin was a hero before, and look what happened."

"You're right," she conceded. "I don't blame you for that. What I came to ask you for though, is help. Ventress….she figured out that we had kids and knew that Anakin was hiding that from her. So she's-" Padme had to stop briefly to compose herself, "She's trying to get to Anakin through our children. It's working. Anakin and Obi-Wan are going to Naboo to try to stop her from doing whatever she's planning."

"So Anakin's going to Naboo? With Master Kenobi?" He asked. She didn't know why, but something in his voice made her worried. He sounded urgent, almost angry.

"Well yes, is there anything wrong?" Bail looked at her white-faced for a moment before responding, "And he wants to restore the Republic? He's come back-willing to accept any punishment, you're sure?"

"Yes. Bail you're scaring me, what's wrong?"

"I…I've made a terrible mistake. I have been building up a rebel alliance, with the help of a few Jedi the Empire hasn't tracked down yet. It's still very small, but we've gained a few supporters, a small fleet. We've been tracking his movements for the past few days; he's been absent, weak. We thought it would be the best chance to…" Bail trailed off, unable to look at Padme anymore.

"Bail, what's going on?"

"They're planning on killing him. Even the Queen's in on it. She said that she was not convinced at his earlier attempt to prove his innocence. She was the one who called me." Padme couldn't speak. All she could do was think, think about how to get out of this. She could call him, yes…well, no. No, he had left his comlink in his apartment; she had seen it in the drawer. Obi-Wan didn't carry one with him, his had broken when they first arrived on Tatooine and he never got around to replacing it. She could call the Queen, but what if she still didn't believe her? She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up at Bail, who was standing now.

"They're still a bit further away from Naboo than we are, but not by much. I'll try to get a hold of them, but they're pretty far out of range and I don't know their exact coordinates. If we beat them there I can stop it. Come along."

* * *

"Ahsoka come on. You've known me for years, don't do it. You wont win." By this time Ahsoka had again lit her lightsaber, but Anakin had lost time and patience. His blue lightsaber met hers, but neither was moving. Deep down, even after all Anakin had done, Ahsoka didn't want to fight her former master.  
"The Anakin I knew would never hurt me," she said coolly.  
"And I don't want to. But— " he stopped. There was a crack in what he recognized as Luke's force signature, and an electric bolt of fear shot through him. He had to get to his kids, because Ventress had apparently just beat him to it. He looked at his opponent. She had grown a little since he last saw her. Her wide eyes had shrunk narrower, and once puffy lips were now much less swollen. She had grown up a lot in the past two years. He didn't know what she had been doing in that time, but he knew he could still beat her, just not cleanly or quickly. So Anakin did what he had told himself he would never do again, but what he had to do in his sheer desperation to save his children for whatever the witch had planned.  
"I'm sorry about this," he said, before flipping his lightsaber to his left hand and raising his right hand, electric blue lightning shooting out of his fingertips as if he were some kind of God. He felt a pang as Ahsoka shot backwards, writhing in pain. He stopped as soon as her eyes slid shut. She would be okay, but he didn't envy the incredible aches she would have once she came to.  
He wanted to look back at her, to help her up and tell her he was sorry, like he had so many times when she was his padawan and he knocked her down during a spar. But he didn't because he didn't have any time, and maybe things would have been different if he had. God, he wished he had looked back. He instead sprinted up the stairs, going two by two, before stopping at the top—trying to be quiet. It probably didn't matter that much. Ventress could no doubt sense him and this was a trap, after all.

So he straightened up and, feigning confidence, walked into the room where he sensed Ventress the strongest.  
"Ah, you finally made it," she said coolly. An electric bolt shot through him, starting from his toes and ending at the top of his head. It wasn't from Ventress' fingers, but from seeing her holding both Luke and Leia. She obviously wasn't concerned about fighting him with no hands free—she knew he wouldn't try anything with her holding them.  
"Ventress, let them go." She smiled, the grotesque gesture making him feel a bit sick.  
"I would choose your words carefully."

"Of course if you drop them I can catch them," he said flatly, demonstrating by levitating a small pillow. It fell to the ground with no sound at all, thus signaling a sort of silent standoff between them. Ventress, though, had all the power in the situation. She knew it, and smirked again at Anakin's reminder.  
"I wouldn't kill them both. Only one…whichever will serve me the worst. I have no use for boys though, that's for certain," she held Luke up by his shirt so he dangled in front of her like some dirty dishrag. It was that moment for Anakin that everything in the room, everything in time or life in general blended together into one awful black mess that oozed into the corners of his vision as his rage-addled mind raced to come up with a solution. He, however, apparently was not the only one trying to come up with this hopeless solution. For some reason far from his grasp, Ventress backpedaled and then flew into the wall. Thankfully, his reflexes hadn't gone dull and he grabbed Luke and Leia with the force, keeping them from hitting the ground.

He hadn't realized it until he saw the room again, but the blackness had completely taken over for those seconds. When it stopped he saw blank carpet and wall where Ventress had been standing.  
"Should have asked for my help sooner, Sky Guy," Ahsoka said. He set Luke and Leia-who had remained remarkably quiet during the ordeal-gently in their cribs and turned to look again at Ahsoka. She had grown up in a way that didn't seem possible considering it had only been a little over a year and a half since he had last seen her. Her head tails were long now, certainly not full-grown, but a little more impressive than hers had been when she was a teenager. Her nose was a little pointier, face longer, and she was taller. Nearly as tall as he, even. But there was something different still about her. That child-like curiosity that she had kept even as she got older was gone, replaced with hard cheekbones and firm jaw. That optimistic blue sparkle in her eye that had always encouraged him, though he was supposed to be the role model, was now dull—her eyes accusatory and cold as the blue waters they resembled. They just looked at each other for awhile, Ahsoka taking in his differences the way he had taken in hers.  
"I didn't need your help. I was perfectly in control," he snapped.  
"Yeah, your standing there not moving made that clear."

"I was waiting for a time when I could act without hurting my kids. You on the other hand could have killed them."

"I knew she couldn't hold on to them if I force pushed her," she retorted, crossing her arms defiantly. For a minute she looked like his padawan again; like the teenager who was dying for his approval.

"Where did she go?" he decided to ask her that instead of one of the hundreds of more personal questions that had sprung to mind or arguing with her further.  
"Jumped out the window."

"So she's gone. Great," he sighed, looking back at Luke and Leia, whom he sent a calming wave through the force to. He didn't want to deal with Ahsoka and their cries at the same time.  
"Never fear, the empire will live on yet. You're alive," she said bitterly.  
"If you're so convinced that I'm the emperor, why did you help?" He didn't care anymore. If she wanted to hate him that was fine. Force knows he still resented her.  
"Because I figured y'know, who's worse, you or Ventress?"

"So to you Ventress is worse?"

"Ventress was always evil, you just turned into it."  
"You think it's that simple? After everything-" he broke off, unable to actually articulate what he was trying to say to her. He was just so mad; she was the one who left. "After everything we've been through together, you think I've just _turned _into this?" Her lip twitched almost cruelly before breaking eye contact with him. She instead walked over to Leia's crib, her fingers gliding over Leia's dark hair.  
"She looks like you," she finally said. He tightened his jaw. She was changing the subject, like she always did. But he decided to go with it—after all, he didn't particularly feel like talking about the two other elephants in the room, who Anakin imagined had at that point developed quite a relationship.  
"How do you know? She's asleep, and doesn't look a whole lot like me when she's awake."  
"Fine, then she looks like Padme and the other one looks like you, if you want to be cliché about it. By the way, you and Padme-married?" She turned back and looked at him, her look not so much curious as it was almost suspicious.  
"Actually, we've been married since before I met you. Happened a few days after the Battle of Geonosis." Ahsoka narrowed her eyes, "Then, I guess my condolences. Her loss was a tragic one."

"She's fine."  
"I heard you killed her."  
"You heard wrong. Evil people do evil things to hurt people. So I, in an attempt to prove my cruelty, didn't finish the job."

Ahsoka rolled her big eyes, "You make less sense now than when you were a Jedi."  
"Maybe so. What are we doing here, Ahsoka?" He finally asked. "What have you been doing for a year or two to erase everything I knew about you? To erase Ahsoka." He had struck a nerve, he knew it just by her body language. She stiffened, and when she looked at him again he could see that her eyes were swimming. He had never actually seen her cry, probably because she was so damn tough and thought that if he had seen her cry he would have thought less of her. That wasn't true, he just couldn't deal with women crying. Not even women he liked, a group Ahsoka was not necessarily a part of at the moment.

"Because I…I couldn't be part of it anymore. I couldn't see any more people I loved die I couldn't…couldn't see you die. But I kind of did, and I'm sorry that I didn't stay a Jedi long enough for you to kill me so I wouldn't have to see that my hero had turned into some monster," she turned away from him and looked back down at Leia. He watched as she tried to keep her shoulders from shaking and her cries silent. Finally, and mostly only because he was getting tired of seeing her pretending she wasn't crying, he put his hand on her shoulder.  
"I can't think of anything to say," he said honestly.  
"Maybe you could say that you're sorry."

"For what? I'm sorry I shocked you. I'm sorry I couldn't make the Jedi Order adhere to what you thought they should be doing. I'm not going to say I'm sorry, though, that I became Vader. I'm a little tired of apologizing for that."  
"You lied to me."

"Are you talking about Padme?"  
"Of course I am. I always knew you two had a thing but I never actually thought it went anywhere. Why didn't you think you could tell me?" she was almost pleading now. There were so many betrayals, so many times he had lied or someone had lied to him, but Ahsoka was a culmination of that. She was as much of a pawn of the Jedi order as he was, and she didn't have someone like Padme to stay afloat, to barely get through it. It was a better system than the Empire, but not by much. In any case, he had become a Sith because of it and she well…what had she done?  
"I didn't only lie to you about it. We couldn't even tell her parents." Ahsoka sniffed loudly but offered no response.  
"Ahsoka, what did you do after you left?"  
"I uh…I didn't really do anything," she said quietly, wiping her eyes in a way that she thought was discrete. "I tried to find home, but I didn't have one. Not anymore. So I met a separatist and became a pilot."

Anakin snorted, "So you left one life to a slight variation?"  
"It was all I knew how to do. That's what they rob you of, any sense of purpose other than what they've programmed you to do. But the Jedi are extinct now, so," she shrugged.  
"You still haven't told me why you're here."

"There's a small rebellion going on. We knew you were coming here, I followed you."

"You were supposed to kill me?"  
"Yes."

He raised his eyebrows, "Guess you've changed your mind. But are there others?"

"It's all run by Bail Organa, but if I said that you shouldn't be killed they might listen. What are their names, by the way?" She was talking about the twins, of course, but it took Anakin a second to realize that, his answer a bit delayed in his confusion.  
"Oh. Luke and Leia."  
"Cute," she mumbled. Their eyes met again and a stale silence filled the room.  
"Oh, master Anakin! You've returned!" C-3PO exclaimed as he shuffled into the room. "We heard a commotion and thought we should make sure the children are alright." Artoo beeped his agreement.  
"Yes well, thank the force you two were here," Anakin said coldly.  
"Oh, it was no problem sir," Threepio said earnestly. Ahsoka tried not to smile at the golden droid's cluelessness and Anakin's frustration.  
"I should call Obi-Wan and tell him what's going on," Anakin said, pulling out his comlink. "Obi-Wan, we just saw Ventress but she escaped."

"Are Luke and Leia alright?"

"Yeah, they're fine, but I would watch out at the castle for her."

"Who's we?"  
Anakin hesitated for a moment, "I ran into Ahsoka." Silence crackled.  
"You _ran into_ a rogue Jedi?  
"Hardly a rogue Jedi, Obi-Wan," Ahsoka said. Anakin glared at her.

"Apparently there's a rebellion going on. They sent her to kill me."

"I take it she was unsuccessful. I actually was aware of the rebellion when I got to the palace. They thought I was a part of it."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"No, I thought you could handle it."  
"What should we do now?" Anakin asked, his patience with Obi-Wan waning.  
"Padme and Bail Organa just got here to stop whatever rebellion was taking place. She said that she's going to try to find a speeder and go to the house."  
"Then I suppose we'll wait here," he said bitterly, dreading the minutes he was about to spend with Ahsoka alone.  
"Don't sound so excited," Ahsoka said as he clicked off the comlink. He sunk down onto the bed, surrendering to the exhaustion. Ahsoka sat next to him carefully, as if she was afraid a sudden movement would send him into some destructive spiral.  
"I always thought that you would be a good dad. You were kind of one to me," she said quietly. He stayed silent. He didn't particularly care about what Ahsoka had to say for a few reasons, the first being that she had left him without warning, without even saying goodbye. It doesn't sound like something all that upsetting. To Anakin, however, it was betrayal. The issue of war hits even a Jedi hard, because it's total, unrelenting chaos. The type of chaos that chews you up because you weren't actually chewed up. Anakin hadn't been chewed up physically, but he had been emotionally. People, with real, moral emotions, weren't meant to see people they knew die and wonder why they themselves weren't at that spot at that time. What they did to deserve life. Anakin had seen a lot of things, and most of those things he had seen with Ahsoka. They could talk about it in a way that he never could with Padme, and it was comforting to know that someone else felt exactly the same way, with no judgment.

"When you left, things changed," he finally said. "The war got that much worse, and I was alone in it."

"You had Obi-Wan."

"Not always. And Obi-Wan was a _real_ Jedi, not like you or me. He didn't feel things the way I did, when he saw someone die he said that it was for the good of the Republic. I never got there, neither did you. You ran away before it got too bad."  
"I couldn't deal with it anymore, Anakin. I was a kid, all I knew was war and it ate me up. You had Padme to look forward to, but what did I have? That's what I thought being a Jedi was, being a soldier, because I never got the chance to be anything different. How can you blame me?" Ahsoka asked. The bitterness and sarcasm had escaped her voice, and for the first time she sounded like the scared girl she had once been.

Anakin started to respond, but he heard something downstairs: A great bang followed by quick footsteps.  
"Sh," he said, though no one was talking. He rose to his feet, listening so hard to could feel his ears perking up. Someone came through the door and, before he could move, grabbed him.  
"Anakin," Padme said as she hugged him. "I was so worried. They're okay, right?" Realizing that it was his wife and not someone trying to kill him, he hugged her back tightly, "Yeah, they're fine. I think they actually fell back to sleep."  
"Ahsoka?" Padme asked, seeing the girl sitting on the bed.  
"Hi Padme," she said, standing before Padme pulled her into a hug too. "I'm so glad you're alright."  
"Same here, I thought you were dead."  
"Well then I hope this is a rather serendipitous but nice surprise," she said kindly, her smile more genuine than Anakin had seen it for days. She turned to him, the warm smile gone, "We need to get back to the palace and talk to Bail about what comes next. Ahsoka, you're welcome to come with."  
"Ah yes, what is Bail planning?" Anakin asked spitefully.  
"We'll talk about it then," she said, a sharp look in her eye that Anakin knew meant _not now. _

"Her heart-is given him, with all its love and truth. She would joyfully die with him, or, better than that, die for him. She knows he has failings, but she thinks they have grown up through his being like one cast away, for the want of something to trust in, and care for, and think well of. . . . "

Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens


End file.
